Attracted to an ex

[Charlie1385]

In the early years, of our now 18 year relationship. My (now) husband, and I, were very “on-and-off”. During 1 of our “off” times, I started seeing a guy. It lasted a few months. Then, we split.
That was 14-ish years ago.
We lost contact.
We’ve recently got back in contact, and met for lunch.
The thing is, is that I’m starting to have feelings for him, again.
I find myself thinking about him. When we’re messaging, and it get 1 from him, I get excited.
I’m enjoying us being friends again.
What do I do?

Don't continue. It's an EA and is not fair on your husband.

How would you feel if your husband was doing this with an ex, and had similar feelings? You’d expect him to drop contact right? That’s your answer

I’m starting to have feelings for him, again. I find myself thinking about him. When we’re messaging...I get excited. I’m enjoying us being friends again.

This is not a platonic friendship. You have begun an emotional affair and are making a fool of your husband. Act with integrity and shut this down immediately. Work on your marriage or end it before starting something new.

You're not friends though are you?

You're just back in touch with an ex and are behaving inappropriately for someone in a monogamous relationship.

If you want to prioritise your relationship then stop seeing this man.

If you want to be with this man then leave your relationship.

If you are behaving inappropriately in your relationship because you don't want to be in it anymore but don't want to actually be with this ex then be single.

Those are your options.

Or of course you can keep seeing your ex, pretending you're friends when you're very clearly having more than plutonic feelings (and enjoying that) which would mean you're being a selfish dick and cruel to your husband.

So what are you going to do then?