Please help me I need support

[blackswan88]

I'm splitting from my partner. We are in our 30s, four children including one together. It was toxic and I'm not ready to share details. I know that sounds terrible to ask for support without details but I really need some sort of positive thinking, Some days I can't even get out my bed, everything I do is for the kids and even that isn't good enough.

They don't even know we've split because he worked shifts anyway and I've made excuses. I go to bed saying I have a headache. I believe they know something is up but as there has not been a change in how I am with them they haven't said anything. I'm mostly alone except one friend who has her own life. I have tried to get a doctors appointment to no avail (can only assume coronavirus). I can get on counselling waiting list but will take 3 months. If anyone can please help me through this. I feel like I'm going mad and have no one to talk to. People don't even suspect. I just need somewhere to talk.

So sorry your going through this OP. You will get through it, I promise. It just won't feel like it for a while. For now take one day, one hour if you need to, at a time. Try and do at least one thing every day that makes you smile, content or happy. Reach out to womens aid if the relationship was abusive and perhaps try and freedom programme. You can register for online counselling which may well be quicker than through your GP and might help to get you through until some face to face sessions are available. Above all, be kind to yourself. Try to eat, get some sleep and if you need to cry do so. And when you're ready reach out to a friend or family member so you have some support in real life. Sending hugs 💐

Are you married OP?

Well done for getting on a waiting list for counselling. What steps have you taken regarding separation/divorce?

If the relationship was abusive, have you sought any support from a domestic abuse organisation and are you safe?

Hi OP, so sorry to hear what you are going through. Its a horrible horrible time but please remember this is only temporary. There IS light at the end of the tunnel. You've made the first important steps of ending things so you are well on your way to a happier life. YOu sound like an amazing mum and don't let your ex partner tell you otherwise.
I split with my ex of 16 years and we have 2 DS. I've never been through such a horrendous few months as I did back then. I thought I'd never come through it but I did and now I'm happier than I've ever been.
I know you don't want to give any details but I Hope that you can properly split ASAP. Living together makes things even harder. We are all here for support.

OP I am in a toxic situation. I’m mid 30s (he is in 40s) no kids together. Not quite ready to leave but feel the isolation. I feel shit because he’s a nasty piece of work sometimes and seems like he doesn’t care about my feelings at all but I don’t feel I can’t talk to anyone in real life.

Thank you so much for your replies. I am sorry I cannot reply properly just now. I am too confused and having messages from him going between cruel and wanting me back, I know I want out I just feel so low. I will reply properly tomorrow xxx

Have faith in yourself. You're making these decisions for a reason. Your fighting spirit is demanding to be heard. Listen to it, and nothing else.