Custody and divorce advice needed please help

[Byebyeheart]

My marriage has been rocky since my husband had an emotional affair in 2018. We tried to work past it but there have been ongoing trust issues, arguments and I simply have no romantic feelings towards him any more. We have a son who is 3 and starts school this year. He is currently in nursery, which is next to my place of work. I have told him I think we should separate and I don't want to be with him any more.

We both work full time. He works nights and I work days. Both our names are on the mortgage, but there is little to no equity. Our home is very near to nursery, my work, and our 3 selected schools.

Husband is originally from a city about 30 miles away, and that's where his family lives. He has indicated he wants to move out and get a flat back there in his home town. All fine. Today he has revealed that he wants custody of our son every weekend, since I will be having him mon-fri. I replied that I would not agree to this as it would mean I never get a full day with my boy as I work mon-fri. He's arguing but then he would only see him 4 days a month.. the way I see it is that he is choosing to move too far away to share the weekdays (plus not changing his work hours so he could have him those nights), I would happily share weekdays if it was logistically possible!

He's now saying this divorce will cost a lot of money as he will not agree, and that I'm being unfair demanding to have everything my way and making it so he barely sees his son.

The way I see it - what I feel is best for our boy- is that he gets quality days with both parents, not one parent for the weekly grind then the other parent just for the fun relaxing days/days out/activities etc..

Please help me, would a solicitor entertain his proposal of having our son every weekend? Can he demand we change our school choices (he's said well let's have him at school in his home city instead of where we are now). He seems to want to spirit him away to this other city away from me, make that his home, get him in school there..

I'm kicking myself for not playing happy families until my boy is settled in school, as I'm worried he could contest the school choices as he hasn't started or been allocated yet.

Please advise me I'm sick with worry.

A judge is very unlikely to agree every weekend
More likely every other or some variation of 50:50 if that is what is wanted and can be demonstrated could work

He is being very unreasonable.
If this went to court he'd get every other weekend (or one weekend day every week if that works better) and weekdays (assuming he could pick up early from nursery and drop him back to you before he went to work)

If a judge ruled in school, he will pick the parent who has the child on more weekday nights.

Did you make a typo about the 30 miles? He's acting like it's 300 or 3000 miles? I understand that a 30 mile trip won't be suitable for school runs but if he's going to move anyway he could always try to get a day job instead?

@strawberrylipgloss no not a typo, it's 30 miles away. Not suitable for school/nursery drop off and pick up. He has been working nights about 10 years now, seems reluctant to change as he doesn't want the drop in wage.

My concern is my boy doesn't start school until September. Could he use this to his advantage and argue he would be better off in a school away from where he lives now? We have given our 3 school choices near our home now, can he try to change them?

If he cared so much about spending time with our son then why not get a place closer and change job so that he can share weekdays? Seems to me like he just wants the fun weekends and none of the weekday drudgery. But is that how a judge would see it? Surely it isn't in our sons best interests to never have a fun day out with his mum.

Usually parents prefer every other weekend rather than one weekend day each because it allows the option of going away for the weekend to visit family etc
You're right, a judge will treat the weekend differently to weekdays and want the child to have quality relaxation time with both parents.
Judges prefer to try and maintain the status quo. They wouldn't want to change his nursery unnecessarily and you have the obvious argument that you sent his schooling request already and applying in another area is illogical as you're stuck with the schools with spare spaces rather than actively choosing like right now.
If he plans to date again then every weekend would make that impossible. He'll probably let go of the every weekend idea if he finds a new gf.