Big old u turn on the question of marriage...

[B5670]

Been living together for two years and have had enough conversations around the topic of marriage for me to think that was where we were heading.

Having a conversation this week he
Says I am happy as we are and marriages never last....

Thoughts please...

If its your house no way should you get married unless he buys 50% of your equity which you can them ring fence for your kids if you want.
Then get married!!

id Interpret that as him saying you’re not good enough to marry. But you’re good enough to live with until he finds better. It’s decidedly a slap in the face to you.

For me this would be a dealbreaker.

It's took 14 years for my husband to turn my head at the thought of marriage. I remember us talking about it on the train. I had a panic attack. My problems with marriage stem from childhood. So he never brought it up. Then weirdly. He started to again. Throughout the years. Eventually he asked me. I said yes. I surprised myself with how excited I got.

But he said to me that even if we didn't do it for the mushy stuff. It would be sensible to do it for legal reasons. So if he died etc. I'd get his pension. . (How romantic are we eh?!?)

Could you try that?

It would t be a deal breaker for me at all. But I'm quite rare in my way of thinking.

I would take financial advice. I know it’s not romantic but I would want to know how it affected me financially, married or unmarried.

What are your thoughts then, OP?
Can people stop writing ‘what’s the point if you’re not having a kid?’ So rude, marriage is about the couple, not breeding, ffs.

Hmmm the change would piss me off to be honest

Move out. See what he thinks then

Does he have a property/financial assets?

It may come as a shock to some but marriage isn't all about money. It's about a public declaration of love and respect for another person.

I am married for a second time and would never have stayed with DH if he didn't want to marry me. If I am 'good enough to live with - then I'm good enough to marry. .. and yes I also owned my own home and we both have kids.
Protecting assets can be done via lawyers.

Money is a massive part of it, legally.

Well, no marriage lasts. They all end, in death or divorce.

It’s not fair to move goalposts.

But what makes you want to marry again?

If I was divorced, had children, and owned my own house I WOULDN'T get married for financial reasons. I'd want to protect my assets and my children's inheritance.

Perhaps OP has more assets and her DP is being considerate of that.

I wouldn't marry in your situation, OP. You've a lot to lose financially if the relationship goes emotionally tits-up - and you don't sound secure about that tbh.

In your position, I think you’d be crazy to get married

Your last marriage broke down - why are so keen to do it again? Maintain your financial independence and own home and stay in the relationship if he makes you happy. If marriage makes you happy, maybe time to find someone else who is also fixated on the idea. From what I read on here, they are often pretty grim and I am glad I am not married.