Is this a red flag or just a bit odd?

[Pteuropa]

My friend has been with her partner a few months. They’re moving very fast. He booked them a weekend away with an early morning flight so they stayed in the airport hotel the night before. He’d bought a new shirt for the break. She’d packed the suitcases and forgotten to put the shirt in. He realised when they got to the hotel. He then drove a 2 hour round trip to get it. He did have other clothes to wear! It obviously didn’t sit well with her but everything else is going really great.

Just weird behaviour?

Totally weird!

......that an adult would pack another adults suitcase.

Oh yes absolutely! That bit baffled me too.

A red flag for what? He’d bought a new shirt, wanted to wear it on holiday, had time to go back and get it and did so. I mean, I suppose it’s a little rigid but if I’d bought something specially and could go back I’d probably do so. I’m guessing he didn’t make a fuss that she’d forgotten to pack it? That would be the red flag in the equation.

I don’t know what it’s a red flag for, that’s why I’m asking. If it was me in that situation I’d have said don’t worry about it, I can manage without. I wouldn’t drive all the way home for a shirt. I’d stay at the hotel and enjoy the evening.

Does your friend tell you everything about her new relationship?

I think you should leave them alone. Maybe he really liked the shirt abd wanted her to see him in it.

If he had time to drive back, what's the big deal?

why did she pack for him? That's quite important, actually.

Well that’s good, if anything like that happens again I’ll reassure her that it’s nothing to worry about. It seemed odd to us both but it’s good to get a different perspective on it.

I do ‘leave them alone’ 🙄 she was pissed off that he’d made a fuss and driven all the way back for a shirt. I said it seemed odd but obviously to other people it’s perfectly normal behaviour.

I don’t know why she packed for him.

In what way are they moving too fast OP and why does it concern you so much?

Strange, I wouldn't have bothered.

Maybe his packet of Viagra was hidden in the shirt pocket.

Definitely odd but not sure it’s a red flag for anything, unless he was particularly angry about the missing shirt.

It doesn’t ‘concern me so much’ for fucks sake!! I was just setting the scene of a new relationship ie.she doesn’t know his that well but they’ve got serious pretty quickly.

Gosh sorry! I’ve just re read that post wobbly and I think you were asking a genuine question rather than having a go at me. It just came off the back of the ‘leave them alone’ comment. My apologies.

The only thing I find odd is that your mate is doing his packing.
Why?
The rest of it. Not a big deal. It’s sometimes easier to go back and get it, than wait for it to be posted and never to arrive. But then I’ve gone back myself to hotels to get things I’d forgotten to pack.

Do you mean going away for breaks is too quick/serious?

So to answer the question, I’m not concerned that they’re moving too fast. I was just giving some background info.

I would honestly suspect that he forgot something else mildly awkward - his pile cream or whatever - and fetched the shirt as a useful excuse for going back.

raven-yes now that would make much more sense! We didn’t think of that.

It’s a bit ott, but I wouldn’t be worried about it.

No, it's not a red flag. He obviously just really wanted to wear his new shirt on holiday.

Moving very fast is potentially a cause for concern. Wanting to take a specific shirt on holiday, not so much unless there's more to it. Why did she pack for him though? Are they already living together?

Well,it would have been funny,if he had broken down in the car,or got stuck on the motorway,and missed the flight.

I am sure that I have read an identical thread to this a few months ago. I am now concerned that this guy does this to women regularly but for what reason I can’t imagine.

It is odd behaviour but other than it being the second time I have read this, I would just put it down to quirkiness.

A few months in and she is packing his case.
Fuck that shit!!!!
I was with my ExH for 15+ years and a previous ExP for 6 years and never once, did I pack for either of them.
What is this all about?
Is he not capable as a grown adult?
He can see what happens when you give someone else that responsibility.

Why risk it???
I wouldn't trust anyone to pack what I needed.
Sometimes I don't decide until the morning of the flight what I want to take.
That is really weird.
And driving 4 hours to get it!?
Yes - very odd.
He could have just treated himself to another new shirt at the airport.
Lots of shops.
Or when they arrive at their destination. He could get a more exclusive one that way!
But they both sound odd and like things are moving way too quickly.