I don't know if i should be angry with my friends or with my DP

[hellohello123456]

I went out with 2 friends, lets all them A and B, last Friday night and after a good few drinks A told us she and her DH have been having marital problems after finding photos of women downloaded onto his laptop, these weren't pornographic photos but photos of women he knows in real life, including one of her cousin. The women were all in bikinis on holidays or very revealing outfits on nights out etc and the DH says they were downloaded accidentally, she didn't believe him, I wouldn't have either to be fair. They are now working on fixing their relationship. Friend B said an ex had done the same thing in their relationship, downloading photos of women he knows off Facebook onto his phone. I was then asked if it happened to me and I honestly said it hadn't and they rolled their eyes and laughed saying I was cute and innocent for being so naive and trusting etc and that my DP probably has done the same thing to me because all men do it.
Their words really upset me and also having anxiety I've thought about nothing else but our conversation for the entire weekend and last night I gave into temptation and for the first time in my 5 year relationship with my DP I went through his phone and low and behold I found 2 photos of women he does know in real life, a girl he went to school with and a girl he used to work with. Both very beautiful women with killer figures in stunning outfits that show off their curves.
If it wasn't for my 2 friends I would have never gone looking as I fully trust my DP, he is faithful, doesn't hide his phone, we share the same PC and we never sign out of social media etc, does't go out on nights out as he prefers to spend time with me or gaming on his PC. Doesn't message anyone apart from a few friends and family (I know because he doesn't hide his phone when he gets messages/calls not through snooping). He has never given me any reason, ever, not to trust him.
I feel immense guilt for betraying his trust but I'm also really hurt and confused. I don't know whether to confess to my DP that I've invaded his privacy and say what I've found and to ask why he has these photos or to just keep quiet about it, draw a line and move on and maybe find some new friends in the process.

Im assuming mainly female pp's insisting there are plenty of dodgy photos of all sorts on their phone,

The likelihood of women wanking off to a pic of some bloke work colleague/ neighbour/ acquaintance in his budgie smugglers off their social media, etc. Vs the likelihood a man is wanking to a female acquaintance.

Let's not be naive here...

You need some real problems. This is not a real problem.

I completely echo what Cheeseandwin5 said, he sounds lovely and open. Don't start wandering down the slippery slope of mistrust by checking up on him, if he was doing anything particularly dodgy I doubt he'd be so open with his phone. Try and let this one go, it sounds like he's one of the good ones

Two photos of friends in nice outfits? I wouldn't think anything of that at all. You have no idea of the circumstances of those photos being taken or communicated to him, and you're almost certainly making a mountain out of a molehill.

I world be very surprised if there aren't similar photos of my male friends somewhere on my camera roll, and if there are I'm certainly not lusting over them! They'll just be from various social events or holidays.

I agree with PP, two photos of fully clothed women on the phone of someone who you have a good relationship with is a non issue.

Your friends sound a bit sneery and that would irritate me a bit, but you choosing to look at DPs phone is on you, don't blame them or end a friendship for that.

I'd put this behind you as a moment of madness and move on

2 photos?
As another poster said please don't let your 'friends' spoil your relationship.
People are allowed thoughts and memories. You can't control this.
Have you any other grounds to doubt your OH?
If not, let it go.
You can't unsee what you've seen but you need to get over it. It seems like he's a good man. Don't wreck your relationship over this.

If my boyfriend went through my phone he would probably find photos of men... celebs and ones I know, because I often screen shot things and send to my best friend. It doesn't mean I fancy them or masterbate over them. Also all photos from WhatsApp save on my photos.

I think you do need ask him as it will play on your mind, I'm confident he will reassure you and will be fine.

I never have my phone or any site automatically download a pic. That seems unlikely to me, especially as there are only two pics. If his was doing it automatically, there'd be more than that, and not just slinky ones.

@mamato3Lads

The picture could be sent to a group, my friends randomly send pictures of themselves on nights out ( or eating top notch food) or of other friends etc. These will all get stored whether he opens /reads the post or not.

@nomoredicheads

Which is more likely:

a) that he is downloading pictures of women on a phone that is available and accessible to his partner

b) that the pictures have got via a whats app automatical download (which you may not have but nearly everyone else I know does)

I definitely will have topless guys automatically saved to my camera roll sent to me by friends on WhatsApp doing OLD. It would never occur to me that dp would look through my photos and be jealous.

So have you asked and what did he say??

If you haven't spoken to him yet be prepared to be told that you have invaded his privacy, because you have.

I have lots of dodgy pics on my phone due to whatsapp and friends with questionable humour, including pics of various men. I switched whatsapp to not automatically download images.

So it is very plausible that it could be whatsapp. If it was hoards of pictures of known people then I would be asking questions but two wouldn't bother me.

Does he have WhatsApp and could he be in groups where these photos were sent? My WhatsApp instantly saves any photo I’m sent and I’ve got no idea how to turn it off!

Easy to say from afar but I think you should just relax. Friends have done nothing wrong. Your dh sounds great.

i think i'd be more concerned if it was through whatsapp, because someone would have to have sent them for them to auto download onto photo roll.

may be that mutual friends have sent to him i suppose.

i don't think facebook downloads so easily?
would need to be a definite action to download.

either way i would say this is more of a serious conversation with DP, rather than an automatic relationship-ender.

doesn't seem like sustained deliberate behaviour.

I've just been back through my phone there's loads of pictures of topless Jason Momoa, wet Jason Momoa, some gorgeous old grey haired guy and a few of Tom Hardy and three of my ex-husband one of him looking god like in his twenties [sick] !!! All just been saved from WhatsApp, camera roll random conversations with friends and dc. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions you'll just damage the trust between you and dh. These friends were talking from a place of pain and fear you need to learn to let that shit roll on by

Yes, OP should have checked his WhatsApp to see what groups he's in. Although, if they're the 'outfit post' night out type photos, I don't know anyone over the age of 25 who posts pictures like that in group chats with male & female members

If he has screenshot them without their knowledge from their social media (which is far more likely, IMO) then that is vile and creepy.

Hmmm, typical bitchy female friends you have.

What have your friends done wrong apart from been proved right? I wouldn’t be able to not ask my DH if I found that.

@Sadiesnakes .... totally agree. However as others have said, just opening a pic will download it to your device - but then you’ve got to ask who was sending it to your DH and why?

I ended up with a bunch of random pictures on my camera roll due to WhatsApp settings.. anything that I received - even on group chats - was being saved. So I think I’d give him the benefit of the doubt.

OP, you need professional help for your anxiety. I say this with kindness.

You will let it ruin your relationship otherwise.

And don't tell him you have snooped fgs, that would really sound the death knell for you both.

Forget it and move on, with therapy.

Are you sure he downloaded them? I have 100s of photos on my phone from WhatsApp, random stuff I have screenshoted, a lot of these photos I have no idea why I have them.