Anyone else have a husband who is very affectionate on social media but in private not so?

[clumsyed]

Husband can be very over the top in saying romantic things on FB and always likes my instagram posts and writes nice things but is very different in reality. Sometimes I think he doesn't even like me! He's has like a public persona that is trying to appear in a certain way, I just don't get it!

Anyone else who has a partner like this? I don't know what he is trying to prove. He could just be nice to me to my face but is often moody and dismissive at home. Makes me so confused.

Well, it’s a huge red flag isn’t it? I have experience of this, it’s not pleasant. My ex was very much the type to try and portray things differently on social media, like he was this good guy who did his fair share of stuff at home, and child care. He was actually a grade A wanker and after many years I got rid.

If he is horrible to you in real life, why are you with him? What are you getting out of the relationship?

He just says he finds it easier to say things written down than to me personally. I do still love him and he's an ok bloke when he's not moody, I just don't understand why it's important to project to the world a different image to reality.

I just don't understand why it's important to project to the world a different image to reality

No-one likes to come across as a twat publically, or think of themselves as a twat. He knows if people knew what he was really like in pricate, they wouldn't think well of him.

Yeah not normal. My husband is the polar opposite. Doesn't declare anything lovey dovey on Facebook ever. But tells me to my face all the time.
He says why would he tell the world when I'm the only one that needs to know.

Yes that sounds weird. It sounds like he cares more what random fb friends think about him then you, which isn't great. How long have you been together had he always been like it?

Mine is the opposite. Yours is putting on a show. He is trying to convince people he is a lovely guy so no one will believe he's actually a total dick.

Have you ever considered whether he might be a narcissist, or have NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)? It's typical for a narcissist to want to portray an image of success to the rest of the world and then act differently in private. Maybe take a look into it online, as some psychology websites in particular have really detailed descriptions of what a narcissist is. There's a whole range of symptoms.

I speak from experience BTW. I was in a relationship where he was completely different behind closed doors (moody, angry, mean), but in public he put on a show of being this amazing and charming person. After we split, I realised he had NPD.

Perhaps he spends too much time on sm, and that’s what’s making him grumpy...

I say this because I get tetchy when I have too much screen time!