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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What do I do? Very confused about ex.

4 replies

Ginbunny1212 · 09/03/2020 19:47

Split up with my ex beginning of January. Posted about it on here. It was distance, busy lives and not getting to see each other. I basically felt I was an after thought in his life. Like he would make plans with others and then fit me in. I ended up being the same, so no time for us.

He is a nice guy and someone I fancied. It wasn’t a bad break up. We still said we were interested in each other - but not enough I suppose to make it work. I am very independent and he got his independence back after a codependent relationship. He has 2 jobs and 50% custody of his kid. Me no kids but very active life.

We didn’t talk for a few weeks then we messaged. Back to swapping a few messages everyday. We met up a few weeks ago and he stayed over. Was very natural and not awkward. He left the next afternoon and said see you around. Hesitated when saying it.

Back to messaging everyday. He keeps asking me about the cvirus as I work in a hospital as management. We both avoiding asking to see each other - he was never good at arranging dates, was always me, but I am a planner.

I have dropped a few hints. Such ax his heating wasn’t working tonight offered a shower at mine. His response was he needed an early night as he was at a stag weekend and too far to travel at 7pm. We live 45 mins drive.

So wise people. Why is he still texting me. Surely no one can send endless texts about the cvirus? Is he interested or just being friendly. I am dating and I know he is too.

I should ask, but part of he wants him to be interested and other thoughts, he is an ex for a reason.

OP posts:
Menora · 09/03/2020 19:52

Sorry to say it sounds like it’s because it’s easy to just text you and know he will get a reply, and for an ego boost? Or perhaps he just hopes you will fall back into the same pattern as before - basically it’s much less hard work to sleep with you now and again than to start over with dating
It sounds like he wants a FWB. Do you want that?

RLEOM · 09/03/2020 19:54

He doesn't sound too keen if I'm honest. If he wanted to see you, he'd ask and definitely jump at the chance for a shower at yours.

booboo24 · 10/03/2020 06:57

Whatever he's up to he doesn't sound interested enough still. A 45 minute drive is nothing if it means much to you.

He just sounds lazy, and therefore hard work. I would write him off now, he not prepared to put the effort in is he

loserssaywhat · 10/03/2020 09:42

45 min drive is nothing if someone actually wants to see you. I did long distance for 3 years, an hour drive and then a plane journey.. we both did the trip back and forth.
If someone wants to make something work they will find a way.
I would suspect he's just not that bothered.

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