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Relationships

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Is it bad me and my partner don't have much in common?

3 replies

LOrchid · 09/03/2020 16:51

Me and my partner are opposites in a lot of ways. He's a very intellectual guy who is assertive, hard-working, highly responsible and dedicated. He's very fond of routine and tradition and doing things "the right way". I'm a more creative type of woman who is much more impulsive, introspective and spontaneous. I like to figure things out for myself and don't always play by the rules.

We've been together for 2 years, and these differences weren't apparent at first. In fact, I think the reason we got together was because we both brought something to the relationship the other one lacked. He has told me many times I've helped him to appreciate the smaller things in life, and he has encouraged me to plan ahead and be more assertive.

But I guess I worry that spending a lifetime together is going to cause us to resent each other because of how different we are. He'll want to have a structure for his week whereas I tend to wake up and take things as they come. I think I'll want more of an adventuresome life than him. I don't want to grow to hate him for being 'boring' and I don't want him to hate me for being 'scattered', but is that likely to be the case?

Also, we don't have a lot of interests in common: he likes more serious things such as politics, world affairs, history and the military. I like artsy things like entertainment, music, reality shows and spirituality.

The main thing we do have in common is we're both very empathetic and caring people and we have similar views on wider issues (e.g. humanitarian issues) and we both are fond of self-improvement and being the best versions of ourselves. I think that's what drives us to keep trying to make the relationship work despite the differences.

OP posts:
EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 09/03/2020 16:57

Have you asked him what he thinks of your interests, specifically reality shows and spirituality? If he thinks that's for tinfoil hats or airy fairy wingnuts, is that a deal breaker for you?

LOrchid · 09/03/2020 17:02

Yeah, he just says its not for him. He doesn't make me feel bad for it or anything but he just prefers slightly higher brow stuff. I've also tried to show interest in his activities but it's just not really for me.

OP posts:
Dibdabdobdop · 09/03/2020 17:04

I think if you click well despite different interests then generally it's fine, as long as your opinions on things that would affect day to day life are aligned. I don't know if you live together or not, have DC or not, or if you even plan to do either, but things like how you handle finances, child rearing, housework etc. In actual real life it's that kind of stuff that really causes the most problems I think.

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