Today made me feel like my partners mother is trying to compete with me. I have always had a good relationship with her, always helped her out etc and been there when she needed it so I’m not a bad person or bitchy to her at all. It’s really upset me because I haven’t done anything to her.
A year ago her husband died and my partner is the only child. So I get that’s her only real family now and I’m not trying to take that away from her whatsoever. Anyway he spends an incredible amount of time with her and helps her a lot but today made I feel like she’s competing with me
This morning I said to my partner once he’s finished what he’s doing I’ll give him a massage on his neck as it’s been playing up. Low and behold when he was with her she decided to rub his neck. (Don’t know if that sounds weird looool)
Later today we were at a family function, we get to the place and she practically barges in front of me to be next to my partner (I thought fine, she’s probably wants to make sure she’s sitting near him then, no issue) we get to the table he says sit next to mum I’ll sit next to you and also my uncle. I tried to make talk with her but it seemed like she just didn’t want to talk much. But I still tried. I would go outside with her too for fresh air and just try to talk. Then when going in she would go in front of me and not even hold the door open for me, Throughout dinner my partner would ask me could you pass me some of the meat or some of the salad etc and I would do that and then she would then say sons name there’s also chicken here have some chicken - I didn’t see the chicken buried under all the bits lol and so she takes him some. The waiter comes to clear some plates so I pass him my plate then she says give him sons name plate (as if he couldn’t give his own plate). When my partner was talking to others on the table she would then get involved with the conversation happily.
She then sat at the table most of night quite miserable. Moaning about the music being too loud, asking when can we go. I think my partner could sense she was not happy hence not wanting to sit next to her. He even said it was getting annoying all she wants to do is go home and go in front of the tv, he was really enjoying himself. When music came on and people were dancing I said let’s go have a dance and he said I can’t mum might get upset seeing me dance because of dad. (I’m thinking come on! We are at a family event everyone is dancing and we can have a little fun! But I said ok that’s fine and when we went outside I held him and said let’s have a little dance which was sweet).
When we were on our way to the place she said we are not going to stay long are we and my partner said we can’t just eat and leave it’s rude! You could just see she didn’t want to go, my partner did force her to come but I’m wishing he didn’t now because it was quite uncomfortable.
On the way home in the car she said to him remind me to tell you something later...and he said no you can tell me now and she did and it wasn’t anything of sensitive nature but a bit of gossip she heard from someone at the place. It was silent for most of the car journey so I thought let me just make some chit chat and I was talking to him then when I am talking she decides to be a canary and butting in and talking to him! I’m thinking hang on you’ve been silent most of this journey and now I’m talking you are and not even about what I’m talking about. We dropped her home, and I let her out of the car and I said see you soon! take care and she just said bye and walked off.
I can’t help but feel she’s got some sort of problem with me? I haven’t done anything wrong? I’m not trying to take her son from her, I have been with him 4 years so it’s not a new relationship. I can’t help but feel if she has a problem with me it’s going to cause an issue within my relationship as my partner may start to feel torn etc and I don’t want to raise this with him. Don’t know what to do.
Sorry this is a long one! Writing it down it doesn’t seem as bad and I feel like deleting it all but you had to be there to see and feel it and I can’t be just imagining this! Has anyone else had a similar situation and what did you do?