OH and I have had a tricky few months, which I have posted about on here before.
Quick synopsis is he started drinking heavily after losing his job, this lead to me closing my business as I couldn't deal with OH and a stressful business too. OH tried to steer us off the road one night when he had been drinking (I was driving, he grabbed the wheel), and on another occasion took off in the car after drinking heavily. I called the police, he was caught, arrested and banned from driving. He behaved horrendously on NYD when we were at a friends.
He is still drinking, but not to excess as he can't drive and we live in the middle of nowhere so is reliant on me getting his drink - the doctor and counselor said he shouldn't just stop, but haven't really been helpful as to what the next stage should be. OH thinks he no longer has a problem, but yesterday he needed to go to town and I dropped him off on my way to work. He was going to get a taxi back. I got back from work and he was slurring. He had bought 8 pint cans of strong lager and drunk 7 of them.
I was surprised at how angry, sad and upset this made me. Despite his protestations that he has things under control, when left to his own devices he evidently hasn't.
I look at him and see a weak man. I have zero respect for him, and was annoyed yesterday as I was working my arse off at a physically demanding job for minimum wage while he was at home getting pissed.
Is it possible to rebuild respect and affection?
Sorry, that was longer than I intended.