Dont know what to do.

[Alicejames12]

I've been with my partner for Over 10 years and have two children and a house together.

Hes always been a drinker, never violent or abusive but just annoying and generally I dont like him when hes drunk. Hes a really good dad when hes sober but as soon as he starts drinking he forgets he has a family.

I just feel stuck, he drinks a few nights in the week and both days at the weekend. We both hold down full and part time jobs so dont spend alot of time together. I've shared that I dont enjoy spending time with him when hes drunk but he lasts for one week without drink then hes back to it. Things that annoy me is I cant have a conversation with him or understand him when hes drunk, he forgets we have children upstairs in bed and is banging about and wouldn't think twice about going out and not coming back and leaving me stuck at home.

I've asked him why he drinks and he says hes bored and gets fed up of being at home but my view is when you have children life isnt the same as being in your 20s.

Yesterday we went out as a family had a lovely day and came back just after lunch. We came back and toddler was having a nap. He said he was going the shop and ended up going his mates for drinks to watch the football then coming back around 8pm and then going back out until 1am.

I'm just sitting here wondering if this all there is to our life and would we be better apart?

Any advise please?

He won't change, so it's up to you. If you cannot see your life ahead with this continuing then you know what you need to do.

OP he's an alcoholic. You've got 3 choices:

1, you decide that this is fine, and do nothing
2, tell him you're leaving and taking the kids unless he gets help, give him the details of a relevant couselling/AA service or similar, and then wait a month to see if he cares enough to do something
3, say nothing and spend the next month documenting every time he drinks to excess, every time he neglects the kids to drink, and then leave, take the DC with you and use your evidence to stop him getting custody.

Hes always been a drinker, never violent or abusive but just annoying and generally I dont like him when hes drunk

So why did you have kids with him?

His main relationship is with alcohol.

Is he managing ok at work?

I’d start putting you and the kids first. He might get sober but only he can decide when they might be. Do you have support, a friend, family member?

As others have said, I've afraid he's an alcoholic whether he will admit it or not. Sadly it's unlikely he'll every change and definitely not if he wont get help. You now need to decide whether you want to tolerate it or take your DC and leave. Good luck with whatever you decide