I made the mistake of having children before marriage 7 years ago. He said we would marry, but we never did and now he doesn't want to.
I was young, naive and grateful that a man had fallen in love with me at the time, having had parents who wore away my self-esteem. I have re-parented myself over the last 7 years and I have learned a lot and gained much more self respect. I have read books, have been in constant counselling or CBT and taken up healthier habits.
I am now utterly devastated that I am not married and don't have financial security for myself and my children. I'm upset that my partner doesn't respect me enough to have asked me to marry him and asks me not to ask him, I am disappointed with the man I ended up with in other ways and I have nothing to feel grateful to him for. I feel used, I feel like a live-in maid. Our relationship lacks love and affection.
I want another chance. To find love. To expect security and respect.
But I don't want to tear my childrens' lives apart either.
I don't want to never get married.
I don't want to accept this anymore.