Worried about ended relationship

[MoonshineWashingLine]

Have posted previously about issues with dp but I need advice. Been with dp for 5 years, unexpectedlly fell pregnant after only being together ten months. Obviously our relationship changed dynamic (ie became serious) and since then he started to show worrying behaviours, anger issues, bad reaction to stress etc. Tbh, we wouldn't still be together if we didn't have dd. I have my 8 year old dd from previous (abusive) relationship and now youngest dd is 3. I know my current dp has abusive tendencies and has behaved inappropriately towards me and my eldest dd and my mum in the past. I almost ended it during pregnancy but couldn't bring myself to. We came very close to splitting up last year but he promised to change and in all fairness to him, he did become a nicer better person for a long while. But its slipping again recently and I can't deal with it. We've had two incidents of inappropriate behaviour in the last month, which he blames it on heightened stress.
Anyway, that's the back story but my concern is how he will react if I do end it. He has previously threatened court to gain joint custody of dd. My eldest goes to her dad half the week and is with us the other half but she is much older and less reliant on me than dd2. My biggest concern is that he'll demand the same arrangement that I have with dd1's dad but I don't think either me or dd2 could cope with being apart for half the week. When my dd1 was younger she barely saw her dad and has only been doing half and half for about 8 months. It's taken a long time to get to that point.
I'm currently only temping and my cash situation is bad so it's going to be a while before I can leave him anyway. At the moment we're totally reliant on his salary. But the custody battle is what worries me the most. Dp has a weed habit so would that go against him if it did go to court? I have no evidence of the abusive behaviour or anything. He went to cbt last year but God knows if he told them the truth. I highly doubt it. I'm really concerned about the effects of a break up on my girls as well. A second one for my eldest we've only just really got settled properly in our new house (renting, dp pays all the rent, I do bills) and another upheaval would be awful.

Its a difficult situation thats for sure. You cant stay with someone like that it could get even worse in time. I truly dont get the half and half custody thing surely it must be so disruptive to family life and for the child, but i guess children are adaptable. Do you think he’d be bothered enough to fight for custody? Its an easy threat to make, but would he actually do it?

I think you need to get some money behind you which you are doing with your job, and get as much advice as possible with regard to the future. Can you find a permanent job? Do you have family who could help you? I’d see citizens advice and also see if you can get a free half hour legal advice.

Good luck

You need legal advice.
Because it's not as simple as he smiles weed so shouldn't have contact or a lot of contact because you were with him while he did it. That's not a judgement at all it's just that these things aren't as important as you would like when it comes to court.

Can he actually do 50:50, with work etc.
Have you made a plan for if you move out?

What was the "inappropriate behaviour" ?

In terms of evidence, if you put the events down in a witness statement with a signed statement of truth at the end (ie words that say “I believe that the contents of this witness statement are true”) then that is evidence.

He gets angry and blames me for his anger. During a row a few weeks ago, he refused to let me leave the house to take dd1 to school, which resulted in her being half an hour late for school and he was late for work. He upsets dd1 when he trys to manage her behaviour (she's high functioning asd) he raises his voice too loud and not long ago he accused her loudly of lying because she said to me that he shouted. He has had a negative impact on her behaviour many times over the years but again managed to stop for nearly a year until recently it started up again. Same reasons, he is stressed apparently. He can't manage his anger or stress and behaved like a petulant child. He was horrible to my mum when I was pregnant and had a massive row with her in her own house. This is when I wanted to initially leave but couldn't bring myself to as I was pregnant. Countless times over the years he has been horrible to me and talks down to me. I don't believe that he respects me at all. Or any woman for that matter. He says he reacts badly because women have "shat in him" in the past but tbh I don't blame them.
He's also technically still married to his ex from many years ago and no matter how many times I ask he wont file for divorce as he says its too stressful.

Sorry for typos... Meant to say "shat on him" !!

Does anyone know how to change the title of this thread? It's meant to say ending, not ended.