Oh fuck off online dating!

[allthiswasunseen]

I have been on online dating for the first time in my life (mid 40s) - had a first date arranged last night with a guy who sold himself as a nice guy, said life is too short not to treat people with respect - texted daily. Said he was keen to meet and looking forward to it. Didn't effing show up.
Hasn't bothered to text to explain himself. What a tosser! Why do that?

And there's been a whole bunch of freaks on the site too. I feel like giving up and resigning myself to celibacy. It was so much easier back in the day when you met real people in real life! Sadly I seem to have worked my way through all my real life potentials Maybe I need a new hobby....

I know what you mean. I’ve dabbled in OLD since my LTR ended a few years ago, looked at profiles and messaged one or two people, but haven’t met up with anyone as I just couldn’t face it. My ex was one of those “Mr Lovely” guys and I really got burnt. I just can’t imagine how to find a man I’d actually like, who’d actually like me, who’s available, etc etc etc and it seems hopeless especially when you hear all the OLD horror stories. And I’m 50+ so even less likely.

At the moment I’m trying to enjoy my singleness and all the things I do enjoy about not being with ex. I can’t imagine it but that doesn’t mean I won’t lock eyes with mr right and fall in love at first sight, so I keep an eye out for him :o. Yes it’s vanishingly unlikely but for me, at the moment, accepting that is better than having my confidence sapped by OLD if that makes sense.

Sorry about your shitty experience

Yeah, its not helped by the fact that the guys I have met who are single, well I can see why. One has permanent serious mental health issues, another permanent brain injury due to trauma, another is just a complete tosser and weird and unpleasant. All the decent guys went ages ago. Sometimes I think I will need to wait till I am 60 and the widowers tart to appear. Functional men who maintained functional long term relationships but now sadly bereaved....

@allthiswasunseen - don’t give up hope just yet. There are some decent blokes still out there. I’m 58 and I believe I’m a decent guy and I’m trying OLD after the loss of a 10 year relationship due terminal illness and a previous 17 year marriage. I’m looking and to be honest, been feeling despondent and let down by women, some of whom I felt a great connection with and thought it was two way. I find myself on the brink of being ghosted which is really hurting and I feel worthless.

Being kind and caring should be virtues I thought were valued...

May I join this thread? I have been chatting to a guy on a well known OLD site today. He was very evasive and blowing hot and cold. My spidey senses were tingling and so I asked him if he was definitely single. He got really defensive saying bad bad bad question, you're so insecure blah blah blah and then got aggressive so I've blocked him. Surely only someone who had something to hide would behave like that - do you agree?

Bumping

My last date was with a widower, though he was only 39. His story really touched me and I thought the same, functional man, only available because of bereavement. But he's still messed me around and ended it without really being clear! All this despite me thinking things went well 😕

Ellen yes it sounds like he has something to hide - but also being aggressive and accusatory for any reason is not on is it.

I came back and hour later to dozens of messages from him getting more and more aggressive and paranoid and weird. Saying I must be laughing at him and how I had to tell him where I live and how he was going to beat me till my skin was coloured.

Omg what an absolute creep.
I can't believe the site didn't ban him at once.

Ellen it does sound like he's not single, but even if he is single and that's his response I would say blocking him is the best thing!