I think my husband wants to cheat on me

[Newmamaplshelp]

I've been with my husband for about 12 years, married for 9 months and we have a 3 month old baby.

I've had a traumatic birth and have been diagnosed with postnatal depression. I know I haven't been easy to deal with since I gave birth, lots of mood swings and have let myself go.

Today my husband left his phone in the kitchen so I decided to just look up some stuff on it (which I always do and he doesn't mind as I only usually just use his Facebook and look at photos)

I stumbled upon a note pad and saw something he wrote on it last week which caught my attention. It prettt much says he's going to be fit and healthy and will f*k other chicks and that he'll be making a hit list of girls he's going to sleep with. He's already got someone on the list and it's an old friend of his.

I don't know what to do or what to make of it. I'm really upset and trying really hard not to breakdown. What should I do?

Personally I would confront him now before he acts - it sounds like he hasn't yet from what you've written. Should you both want to work through it it will be easier to come back from this than if he actually does something.

And be honest with him that you looked through his phone because his behaviour has been awful, you need it all out in the open, he won't buy that you stumbled across it. If you aren't honest in your communication with him you can't expect him to be honest in return. Good luck, and sorry you're going through this

First of all, I am sorry you have pnd. I do too and have a 6mo D's.

I would confront him with it. I'm so sorry OP, you have enough to be coping with without this too

It posted before I could finish.

I would feel so hurt and angry if I found this on my husband's phone. I would feel physically sick so I can only offer you my sympathies.

Get someone to look after the baby, then sit and talk to him. If he brushes it off and us dismissive of your feelings then you have your answer.

Well I was feeding the baby when I just broke up crying. He asked if I was upset and if I wanted to talk he also asked if I went through his phone and saw something that he wrote. I can't talk to him about it I'm scared about what he's going to say and how I'm going to feel afterwards so here I am in bed crying and pretending to be asleep. I did hear him say that I should talk to him coz he doesn't want me to go through unnecessary heartache I'm just confused and hurt and I don't wanna talk to him about it

Oh darling. He knows you have seen it. I don't know what he expected or how he thought you would react.

Please , don't think this is your fault because it absolutely isn't. In the last year you have been through so much and it's not easy!! Remember he hasn't had to go through the physical and hormonal changes that come with being pregnant, giving birth and being a new mum.

I do hope you can talk things through and he explains himself. You do not deserve to be cheated on. Nobody does.

That's pretty damn horrendous

He had actually written that down? As an action plan? What a PRICK

I know you're panicking and upset right now but surely, surely, surely you can see you've been handed a golden ticket here. You've seen evidence of his intention - there is no way out of it for him
Dont stick around and give him.the luxury of putting his seedy, embarrassing plan into.action

I’m sorry you have PND and your relationship is like this.

Do you have good support nearby? Can you afford to leave if you need to?

This is vile OP i'm so sorry. You've got a young baby and have PND he is being disgusting. What makes him think that anyone would want to shag him anyway, being a married man with a small baby? He sounds delusional and very very immature. He doesn't deserve to be a father and you deserve so much better. I'm disgusted by what he has written and if I was in this situation I wouldn't be able to continue the relationship, sorry

Aww hope that your ok ,my baby is 4mnths if my DH did this i dont know what i do.
Your going to have to talk this out. Just remember u have a lovely baby to get u through this if it means working on your relationship or ending it.
I agree u do deserve better

That sounds horrible, you are so vulnerable when you have a little baby, tired and everything. Is there a friend you could visit for a couple of days who wouldn't make a big fuss, just so you could have a bit of space to think? Doesn't have to be a big dramatic 'I'm leaving you' thing, just say I am going away for a couple of days.

I can only imagine how you are feeling, I remember how vulnerable I felt when DD was that little, and that was without PND.

I’m confused as to why he wrote it down, do you think he wanted you to find it, to spark a conversation maybe? Either way, I’d find it hard to forgive him being so callous and self absorbed at the time where he should be focused on looking after his wife and baby.

I think you need to have the conversation with him and find out what he’s playing at, then you can decide what’s best for you and baby.

Sending strength