Dating dilemma

[Onedaymaybe01]

I’ve been seeing a a guy for a few weeks . We get on well and he seems keen to arrange meeting up. BUT apart from a slightly drunken kiss initiated by me a few dates ago (which he responded to very enthusiastically!!), there’s beeen no physical contact at all - not even a quick kiss goodbye.
I’m not sure if he’s shy, just sees me as a friend, or just doesn’t like me!
Any thoughts?

Could you be a bit more touchy on the next date? Sit next to him instead if across. Hug him a lot. Flirty touches ect...

(Thinks: just ave a dram and jump him and snog his brains out again haha)

Could be maybe be a but nervous to initiate physical contact? Maybe greet him with with
a kiss next time and see how it goes?

So am I getting a kiss or what?

Yeah you may need to try initiating something, he could be nervous.

When you say dates what sorts of things have you been doing and on what days? How often? I think you can tell a lot by those questions above.

Bear in mind though, it's only been a few weeks. Still early days!

We’ve been for drinks/coffee/food - the usual things!!

It's just been a few weeks. Perhaps he wants to take it slowly. Is that so bad?

I had this with a guy a month back, 5 dates bit only a few kisses. I was convinced he was a gentleman but he finished with me saying there was no chemistry. I would say if he's not getting physical it's not a good sign.

No, not bad at all to take things slowly. He’s a widower so maybe that’s why - though he had seen other people since.

Since his wife died that is.

You could ask him how he feels about you.

I could ask but don’t really want to at this stage!

Same experience as @Mermaidwaves
Was annoyed with myself for ''dating down'' only for that to happen.

Are you certain he's a widower?

I’m as certain as I can be that he’s a widower!

Good, you couldn't make this up but apparently it's common for men on line to say they're widowers as it attracts a more caring type of woman.

Caring = fewer boundaries, more easily manipulated/scammed.

But, to be honest, given that he's not lovebombing you, it doesn't sound like that's his deal! Thank goodness.

I'd be brave enough to say to him, ''are you not feeling much chemistry here?''.

see what he says. Don't be a passenger to his meander round while he figures it out.

A man did that to me. To be fair, I didn't feel much chemistry either but I was trying to figure out if that mattered as much as I would have thought it did when I was younger.

I was beginning to feel 'no this is ridiculous'' when he ended it, but in that short time he'd come to my house, I'd made him dinner, he'd seen my kids (only when he came for dinner, he hadn't stayed over that nigth) but it felt like all of the risk was mine. While he just took me along on that ridiculous journey.

It did teach me a lesson.

I’d agree with him not feeling anything has he nor responded so much to the kiss I initiated a few dates ago!! He does seem a bit nervous in some ways

We’ve now arranged to go out again in a few days.....

Can you tell in other ways if he is into you sexually? Checking you out, for instance.
Doesn't sound like he fancies you. Do you fancy him?
Sex is important--what's the point of getting into a relationship if there is no chemistry? You can get a dog for companionship.

Checking me out?
He’s quite gentlemanly in some ways but no comments about my appearance, clothes, etc which I find unusual...

Hi

I had this experience when I started dating my current boyfriend, we went on six or seven dates before we kissed and that was initiated by me. We are still together now and have talked about when we got together. He was attracted to me but wanted to get to know me better before we got intimate with each other. We were pretty flirty though and it was enjoyable spending time together. Finally I had seen enough to know I wanted to move forward and decided to invite him round to mine for dinner... I poured some wine and the rest is history...

Could he be taking it slow deliberately? Do you want to take it forward? I think you are going to have to be bold or you may never find out!!!

That’s interesting. I’m really not sure what to make of him - he responded to my (tipsy!) kiss a few dates ago, always suggests meeting again, always offers to pay the bill, etc BUT no compliments, or even flirting really ...

He may well be totally attracted to you, and therefore nervous and shy.

But I'd be worried that further down the line sex may be a bit underwhelming.... I'd want him to kiss me passionately once it was clear I'd consented to the first kiss!!

I don’t think he’s been out with many ladies since his wife died - I wonder if the fact he’s a widow has anything to do with it?

It sounds like you might need to have an honest conversation about what you want, what he wants - is it just friendship or is it something more...