There is no future with this man. You cannot possibly have children with someone who is already treating you like sh1t as the abuse will only get worse and will harm not only you but also your DCs. That is an absolute inevitability – don't imagine that fatherhood will change your H for the better – it won't.
It seems like you're waiting to feel ready to act. If there's one thing I've learnt in life it's that you have to take action before you feel ready – the feeling ready will follow once you've embarked on the necessary cause of action.
Your parents' appalling behaviour has clearly harmed you deeply. So you're going to have to love yourself and educate yourself. Fortunately, there are many sources of information and education out there for you: read 'Women Who Love Too Much' and do the Freedom Programme. You might also find 'Why Does He Do That' helpful. Take this in steps.
You have to get away from him – you owe that to yourself. We only have this one life – it's not a dress rehearsal – and you owe it to yourself to live the happiest and most fulfilling life you can. At the moment, because you have been abused and neglected for your entire life, you cannot see how much you are worth. But you are worth so much more than this. Until you can feel that genuinely, you need to fake it – pretend that you think you are worth more than this. Fake it till you make it really works.
Don’t waste your time and energy standing up to him - you won’t persuade him to treat you better because he is an abuser. Spend your time and energy working on getting yourself away from him and to a much better place.
And if you possibly can, get some RL support while you take the steps you need to take in order to free yourself from this man and build the life you were meant to have – where you love and appreciate yourself and will only accept good, loving and supportive treatment for yourself. It will take time to build it – so start now.