My other half of 18 months has a really bad habit of making no contact with me when he goes out. It might sound ridiculous and petty but it really annoys me and makes me feel uneasy.
When we first started seeing each other, he had a couple of nights apart from me (not unusual when you first start dating someone) and he didn’t contact me all night despite me messaging him...a couple of months later, it came out that he had been sleeping with his ex on those occasions. I was really hurt and angry that he had done that but we moved on.
Around six months ago, he moved in with me. A few weeks later, he had to work away for the night (something he’s never had to do before). He left mid afternoon and I didn’t hear from him all night, despite me sending him a couple of messages. He then phoned me at around 8am the next day and told me he’d finished work and gone for some beers with a work mate so hadn’t looked at his phone. A couple of months later, he had to go on a week long course which was approx an hour and a half away from our house so his boss paid for a hotel. We video called on the first night then on the second night, I video called him and he having drinks at the house of a bloke he’d met on the course. We’d arranged for me to go and stay with him the following night but the night day, he phoned me late afternoon and said for me not to bother driving down as the weather wasn’t very good. I video called him later and he didn’t answer. I then messaged him on text and two lots of social media and didn’t get any reply from him. I was worried out of my mind about him all night. He finally messaged me mid morning to say he’d had toothache, taken painkillers and fallen asleep. He then went out for his works do just before Christmas and didn’t reply to me despite me asking him if he wanted me to pick him up. He finally phoned me at nearly 3:30am (he left at 11amthe previous day). He then went out with his friend a couple of weeks ago. He left me at around 3pm and didn’t come back until around midnight.
Whenever this happens, I try to tell him that not only am I worried that something bad has happened to him, that it also stirs up memories or when we first got together. He says that I’m being silly and that he shouldn’t have to check in with me. I’ve told him it wouldn’t take a minute just to message and say I’m ok or I’ll be home at... or anything like I do when I go out. How do I get him to see it from my point of view?