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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Will I ever feel a 'romantic interest '

7 replies

keetee3 · 05/03/2020 16:52

Will I ever feel a ‘romantic interest’?

I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years because I didn’t feel any sort of excitement or ‘spark ‘ / romantic interest anymore.We got together when we was 16 and was each-overs first for everything and it was amazing at the start and I thought the relationship would always last. However we’re both now 18 and I know the honeymoon period definitely ended however we both accepted this and the relationship was still good and we’ve had so many amazing memories .

however for the past few moths there just hasn’t been any sort of spark or excitement on my side at all. I don’t get exited when we’re together/going out but I do when I’m going out/seeing my family/friends. When we do things what are supposed to be ‘fun’ I just don’t don’t really get that much joy out of it anymore.i can’t flirt with him at all and I’ve tried multiple times but it’s just not something what happens anymore and he really hates that I can’t.We used to have an amazing sex life but for the past few months I never want to have sex with him and I feel guilty when he wants to but I never seem to be in the mood . However sometimes I have it because he wants to or on the occasional when I’ve wanted to and I do enjoy it during.I basically feel like he is more of my bestfriend and not my boyfriend.

However I hate feeling like this as I love and care for him so much . He is such an amazing person he’s kind , caring , loyal , supportive , attractive , funny and we get along so well and I’m scared there will never be anyone as good as him again but there just isn’t that spark there used to be.

However since breaking up he has told me he thinks it’s just the type of person I am and that I’m just not very affectionate/enthusiastic person so that any relationship I will be in I will always feel like this. I’ve asked my friends about this and they said that this isn’t true and I obviously just love him as a friend and I’m just not romantically interested in him and that one day I’ll be in a relationship where I feel will excitement/sparks as they said they still feel it in their 3&2 year relationships.However I can’t stop thinking wether he is right and if this is just the type of person I am and no matter who I’m with I’m never going to feel a romantic interest / excitement after the honeymoon period.But I don’t want to regret leaving him if this is who I am and if every relationship is going to feel like this as I do believe I love him and he is literally as close to perfect as you could get and our relationship was great before I started to have these thoughts.

But I’ve never had another relationship before so i have nothing to compare it with to see if I will feel like this in every relationship which is why it’s really confusing but I just don’t want to waste my teenage years with someone who I’m not going to be with forever.

Thanks for any replies

OP posts:
Heatherjayne1972 · 05/03/2020 16:57

I think you’ve outgrown him
It’s probably time to end it and move on

sleepyhead · 05/03/2020 17:02

You just don't fancy him any more. No-one's fault and perfectly normal.

Move on.

FromTheEarth · 05/03/2020 17:04

You're 18. It's not supposed to last forever and, tbh, I know there are 'happy ever afters...' for some people, everyone I know who married the person they were with at 18 is saddled to someone they'd no longer choose with children and a mortgage and feel there is no way out.

Of course you will feel romantically interested in someone again. Just not him.

Go out and have fun. There's really no rush to settle down nor reason to stay with someone you no longer want to have sex with! Life is too short as it is.

sleepyhead · 05/03/2020 17:04

Ah missed the " he thinks it’s just the type of person I am and that I’m just not very affectionate/enthusiastic person so that any relationship I will be in I will always feel like this"

I believe that's called negging by the rejected men of today? It's meant to make you take him back because you won't do any better. Speaks volumes for his lack of self respect (and no respect for you).

flossiewossie124 · 05/03/2020 17:08

You're only 18. It's perfectly fine to leave him. Maybe you can still be friends? Enjoy being young and single Grin

Hoohaahoo · 05/03/2020 17:10

It sounds like you grew bored of him, he’s probably upset by this.

Enjoy your freedom!

Kittykat93 · 05/03/2020 17:40

You're 18,no kids, no mortgage. Enjoy being single. You have no reason to stay with this man if you're not happy!

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