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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH brother split up with girlfriend after 11 years

4 replies

pepsi · 04/10/2004 13:19

Hubbys brother has just split up with his girlfriend after 11 yrs, living together for most of it but no children. He called his parents to tell them but told the rest of the family in a very brief e:mail. He went home to see his parents for the first time since the split this weekend and the whole thing wasnt mentioned at all by anyone. DH said he probably just wants to get on and put it behind him. I felt rather different and feel its a bit of a worry. Perhaps its just my nature to talk things through. I personally feel thats it would have been better for him to talk, albeit briefly to his parents, get it out and then put it behind him. Would this worry you or am I just blowing things out of proportion. We dont know the reason for the split, but she went off travelling a few years back with friends and I think she wants to go again, he is in a very stable job and wouldnt be able to really. This could be the reason but also she didnt want kids or marriage. Probably the latter I guess. Either way an 11 year relationship is hard to come out of.

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Tinker · 04/10/2004 13:24

Erm, I think for some people talking about it isn't better. I can't imagine one of my brothers EVER talking about a relationship with ANY of his family AT ALL. In fact, I don't think I would discuss a relationship split in great detail with my family either. Maybe he's talking about it with friends - or on the internet!

JoolsToo · 04/10/2004 13:25

It's a real shame - I guess its like a marriage breaking up after all that time. I think its bizarre that it wasn't even mentioned at weekend - I know men bottle things up but thats not a good thing - how you get them to open up is tricky.

All that time! still I suppose he must of known she wasn't the settling kind?

pepsi · 04/10/2004 13:26

Yeah your probably right Tinker, I guess we are all different and yes perhaps he has talked to a friend. They do have the same friends though, but I guess this means at least he could find someone who knows the score. I just worry about people when they are on their own after a life of not being.

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pepsi · 04/10/2004 13:28

Oh now I think Joolstoo is right. I guess the answer is no one is. I worry because DH's uncle split with his wife, they had two teenages, he really really couldnt cope. He took to drinking and then very very sadly, committed suicide. It sticks in my mind and because of it I worry about these things more.

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