Splitting bills I'm so confused

[Digitalash]

I think this is a bit complicated so I will try and keep it as simple as I can!

Been with DP 2 years, looking to move in together in the next couple of months.

Both work full time. Both earn similar, me about £1300 him about £1400. I am single mum to a 3 year old (who DP is very good with) and get help paying for nursery from UC but no CMS or anything.

I rent, he owns. The agreement is he moves in with me as if it doesnt work out I'm not left homeless, he will rent his house out as a holiday let (live in a popular holiday destination). The money he makes from letting will be saved so we can buy our own house in later down the line (if everything works out). He is expecting to make about £1000pm as a conservative estimate.

His current Bill's are about £750, mine are about £850 and then I pay £770 for nursery a month on top. This doesnt include food but doesn't include petrol etc.

I said he should pay half Bill's and food and use the money from letting to fund his mortgage and save less as I will lose my UC when he moves in. I do not expect him to pay for nursery (should go down in april when I get 30 free hours)

He says this isn't fair as he ends up with less disposable income paying half my Bill's and £750pm for his mortgage Bill's etc. (forgetting he is saving £1000 a month on rental income)

I said it is fair as if it doesnt work out in 6 or 12 months he would walk away with a bunch of saved cash from letting out his house and would get nothing except a ball ache.

So should he pay half of everything? Or can anyone think of a fair to way split outgoings?

So why wouldn’t you wait till April for him to move in? When you get the 30 free hours?
Also just because you live in a popular holiday destination doesn’t necessarily mean his house would be fully booked throughout the year.
You say you earn 1300 a month but your out goings are 1620, so how are you surviving? Granted he shouldn’t pay towards nursery bills but him moving in would surely be making you a family so wouldn’t he want you better off and not worse off because of him?

Why aren't you getting CMS ?

Id wait till April when the bills go down. What if his house doesn't let ? Is his mortgage company ok with it ?

If he’s going to be disadvantaged in a situation that under normal circumstances decreases your outgoings, I’m not surprised he’s not happy. This is one of the fundamental flaws with benefits it doesn’t pay to be in a couple if both of your are lower earners.

How much universal credit do you get and will you lose it all when he moves in?

Just chuck everything in one pot a split anything that’s left disposable 50/50

You cover childcare, he covers his mortgage. Everything else is split evenly, surely?

If he is living with you then yes he has to pay half.

The only risk he has is if his house doesn't rent out as then he wouldn't he able to afford to pay for 2 houses.

The saving money for a joint house is not a sensible idea until you know you can live together and also he should put any spare rental income away for voids or expenses on the rental.. Forget about saving that income as it doesn't work as you both can't afford to save £1000 per month when you are not high earners.

His income would be £2400 and he would be paying £750 plus whatever bills for your house so disposable income plus money should the house not rent some months.

You cover childcare, he covers his mortgage. Everything else is split evenly, surely?

This.... plus anything he makes from letting his property can go into savings which he walks away with should you split

What about your single person reduced rate council tax?
Or does UC cover that?
Judging by his attitude - this isn't going to work.
Do not allow yourself to be worse off with him moving in.
Make sure you have finances sorted out well before he moves in.
Why don't you get child maintenance from your DS father?

There are lots of things you haven’t thought out.

It’s not that simple to rent out properties anymore. Not many people will want to holiday this year. He needs to cover more than the mortgage. There’s voids, cleaning and insurance costs.

I don’t really understand the financial arrangements. Have you both sat down and worked out the cost of living together and the cost of renting our the property. Then looked at the income you can both achieve.

The issue here is that he is being asked to contribute towards the cost of raising your child because of the loss of UC and your lack of CMS. If he doesn’t want to do that it’s because he doesn’t see a future as a family unit. That is not a man to bring into the family home.

If he’s living with you he should be paying half the rent and bills. If the rent on his property covers his mortgage and bills then it’s not as though he’s paying for two properties! Why should you pay more than him whilst he’s also accruing capital and savings from his property?

He should pay half of everything that is household related.
Rent his out and save the difference between the mortgage and the rental income. His house is his long term investment and really unless you get married shouldn’t inconvenience or benefit you at the moment so should be taken out of the equation.
Renting together before a long term commitment is good so you can get these money issue out of the way before making a bigger commitment of buying a house together
Even with food he should still pay half, be careful he doesn’t start moaning about paying for food towards your daughter though. He should be happy you’re willing to share your family with him and you come as a pair

Assuming the child isn’t his (otherwise he would be paying towards nursery) I don’t think it’s fair he pays half as there are two of you to finance and one of him.

He may make a saving by renting his house out but likewise you get a contribution towards bills so save as well.

I would total up the household bills only I.e rent, energy, water, council tax, tv licence, tv/broadband and split that

Pay your own phone bill, own car insurance , nursery etc etc

How much universal credit would you be losing for him to move in? Also your bills would go up with another person living with you so make sure you take account of that. Surely he can’t think it’s fair that you would end up financially a lot worse off whilst he profits from the arrangement? It has to benefit both of you otherwise it isn’t fair. If either of you feel taken advantage of it isn’t going to work. I think you need to sit down and do the sums and explain to him you simply cannot afford to take the hit for the sake of your daughter and if he isn’t willing to put in his fair share then it can’t happen. It might well mean having some flexibility on the other end too- maybe he’s worried he won’t be able to rent his place out and if there are months where he can’t and therefore can’t contribute I think that would be fair enough too as you are both in it together- neither of you should be more exposed than the other.

You should both benefit from moving in together, otherwise what's the bloody point?

It makes sense to wait until April when you get the 30 hours, and also give you more time to thrash this out.

If he's going to view your dd's expenses as completely yours to deal with, then I'd think seriously about whether this is going to work. (Are you thinking about having dc together? Would he be treating your dd differently to dc you have together and is that something you should do to her?) He's joining a family, not just becoming a couple.

He's going to be banking savings whilst you lose money from him wanting to move in...
If you are going to be a lot worse off financially then don't move in together....far too stressful a situation to put yourself in OP.

Move into his house. Renting his out as a holiday rental isn't a guarantee. Plus he'll have to have landlords' insurance, liability insurance, he'll have to declare it as a second income to HMRC and complete a tax return at the end of the year, he'll have to get a new buy-to-let mortgage. It's an arse ache.

If you're already going into it thinking you need a house as a back up in case it doesn't work, then it isn't going to work. If you're private renting, not council, it's easy enough to find a house if things did mess up.

If you're private renting, not council, it's easy enough to find a house if things did mess up.

But not necessarily the deposit/furniture etc. It's not like OP is on tons of money and she'd have to pay her way living with him. And if OP is in social housing, she'd be mad to give it up.

Don't give up your rental. I know someone and her son who rented a lovely little 2 bed house with garden, quiet cul-de-sac with lovely neighbours, professional landlord and long term agreement. She left and moved in with her partner of roughly the same amount of time, any time they argued he would tell her it wasn't her house, he owned it. She's now in a small 2 bed flat, no garden, busy road which is costing more than her previous house. She had to battle to find a deposit, all the furniture she had got rid of needed replaced. It's been stressful for her.

Don’t do it. Stay as you are. Seems like he is fussy about money. Fair enough but you have a dependant and you can’t sacrifice your/dc’s income so he can profit from renting his house out.

Just imagine how pissed you’d be if you split up, you’re in debt as your income has been reduced since he arrived, and he’s got £5k in the bank from letting his house, that he sees as his and you dont see any of it!! Sod that.

However if he has somewhere safe to store his antiques/personal items and wants to lodge with you for a week while you both rent out his property and split the resulting money (and you’d have to do it only a few times or he’s be classed as staying with you and your benefits would be amended) you could perhaps do that? If it’s not too expensive for his insurance, advertising etc? Just to test the waters.