How do I move on?

[cantgetmyheadroundit]

And do I want to?

At the beginning of the year I found out that 2 years ago, my dh had a couple of kisses and a grope with a woman. I knew literally nothing about it until then.

I made the decision to talk it out, and move on. I love him, we've been together a good while, and we're all human, blah blah.

Except I can't. Move on, I mean. I'm really really trying. I want it to work.

But something's died, and it's not coming back. I know there's no magic cure, and I know our relationship has to be a bit different, going forward. I just can't shake the utter sense of betrayal and deceit.

I know it's only a kiss. I do actually know that's all it was, because I have spoken to her. They had an emotional connection though. He said it was friendship that went too far, and she says the same.

How the fuck do I sort this out in my head?

I would've ended it already

Have you tried some individual counselling OP?
Talking it through with a professional might help you understand your feelings and see if its possible to move past it.

@Delbelleber can I ask why?

@WhereDidAllTheFunGo I've thought about it, but I'm not really a counselling type of person. Maybe I should think about it.

If your feelings aren't coming back then I'm not sure you can get your relationship back to what it used to be. You can't make yourself feel something for someone no matter how many times they apologise or try and make it up to you. Sometimes you see that person as someone you feel you barely know and that's hard to move on from .

Would also say in the first instance couple's counselling.

However- and this is purely from personal experience- I found the emotional connection thing harder that the physical side of things to forgive. After two years of counselling we went out separate ways as I couldn't get over the fact that for the few months the emotional affair was going on, I wasn't number one woman in his world.

But, many many couples do get through it. And I hope- if that's what you both want- that you can do just that.

@pumpkinpie01 I still love him. It's just different.

@mildlymiffed this is what I'm struggling with. He acts like he worships the ground I walk on. Yet he was putting effort into someone else. That's the part that bothers me. He liked her.