I need help.

[TheReptile]

Okay guys, I need your help.

So last year my partner and me split in may because he was abusing me and social services got involved due to safeguarding because I was pregnant. And they didn't want me to go back out with him. And stupidly while we split and when she was born, I got back with him because he'd managed to brain wash me that he'd changed.

Spoiler alert: he didn't change. He's the same if not worse. He started screaming at me in front of my daughter and being abusive again, so I decided it was time to leave. He's done drugs behind my back, he's been on dating websites, etc I know I'm not going back there.

But with giving you the short story, him and another ex have contributed to my PTSD. And every time I speak to this person, it triggers me extremely. I was wondering if because we share a daughter I need to keep speaking to him or if I don't have to speak to him at all anymore. And if there's anything I should be doing like reporting it back to social services or anyone else for that matter.

Please be kind, I don't know a lot about this stuff and I'm scared he's going to try and get full custody of my daughter if I don't.

Get in touch with Womens Aid.

0808 2000 247 or google your local one.
He will not get full custody.
Block and ignore him.
If he wants access then he can go via the courts.
Womens Aid run a course - The Freedom Programme - make sure you ask them about it.
They will also know specialist counsellors and therapists in your area to help with your abusive past and PTSD.
Now protect yourself and protect your DD and do not get involved with any other man until you have done some extensive work on yourself.

What's the situation now OP?

You could contact your local domestic abuse organisation which you can find here. If he's been violent towards or threatening contact 101 for advice. If he attacks you dial 999.

You can get a non molestation order or Occupation Order to keep him away from you and the family home. You can contact the NCDV for more information regarding that.

Keep a log of his behaviour, add evidence such as emails. There's an app you can download called Brightsky which saves evidence online. It's a bit buggy though so keep a print copy as well.

Your Health Visitor may be able to provide advice and support or your GP.

Get checked out for STDs if he's been sleeping around as untreated STDs can cause long term health problems.

Gingerbread can give you information on child contact, maintenance, benefits etc

Have a look to see if the Freedom Programme is available in your area.

At the moment I'm quite scared about what he's going to do. He's adamant that he's not going to give up trying for the relationship even though I've told him it's over, he won't accept that. He's even threatened suicide numerous times. So thanks for writing back to me I'll take your advice and call people.

So he has no respect for your decisions and/or your boundaries.
It's still all about HIM and fuck what you want!!!
Stand your ground.
Do not back down.
The suicide threats are not real.
If it sounds like they might be then call the police to sort him out!!
Or tell his family to support him because you are over and they need to step up now.
It's all part of the abuse and manipulation though.
Many abusers threaten suicide so ignore it.
If he does choose to do it then that is his choice an adult.

No he really doesn't respect me in the slightest. He's basically told me that I'm the abusive one, I apparently won't admit to it. And that basically he wants rights to our child. I'm terrified of him having my child. This is apparently someone who's tried to commit suicide. I'd never forgive myself if he did something to her because I knew what he was like. I did call women's aid earlier and they said they'd get back to me.