Me and dp have been together for 3 years and have a young ds. I have been thinking over the past few months that I no longer want to be in a relationship with him.
We never have sex, it’s nearly been a year and despite me suggesting or trying to instigate I’m met with an excuse every time. I tried this weekend just gone and he said no and told me to stop because if he was pestering me and I didn’t want to then it would be against the law. Fair enough but I was left feeling rejected yet again and also like a predator. I’d never make him do anything he wouldn’t want to do just for the record and I understand that he can say no but it’s every single time I ask or suggest.
I feel like I’m his mum, I cook, I clean, I wash his clothes, I look after our son, I look after his kids (with him), he doesn’t drive but I can do I’m the taxi. I do the shopping. He always seems to find something that I haven’t done though and it has really rang home with me tonight. I was actually getting anxiety about the house being a mess And his huffy puffy reaction to it because my son had been screaming all afternoon with tummy ache so I didn’t get chance to do anything but he still cake back saying it’s can’t get like this again’
He has no idea what I do on a day to day basis to look after our son even though I explain myself but I shouldn’t have to. I clean up after him because he’s a lazy sod and thinks I have nothing better to do than clear up after him.
Anyway, I want to leave. We rent our house, it’s in my name and I am on maternity leave at the minute. I could afford the house on single benefits and maternity pay, just. He has two children from previous but I’m feeling guilt over them two and what he will do.
I’m so sad it’s come to this but deep down am I really that sad? Or just fed up of it all. He never has my back over anything. An example is when I was pregnant one of his female ‘friends’ threatened to assault me next time she saw me because I had thrown her house key away (didn’t know it was of any relevance) and I saw her recently and thought I will put it in the past and said hello. I mentioned to dp that I hope he appreciated the fact I had been right with her despite what she had said. He just shrugged and said she’s a nice girl you’ll get long with her if you try.
Sorry but I’ll never be pally with someone who threatens women let alone pregnant ones. Very juvenile I know but this is just an example.
His attitude stinks on the daily and I know it will be hostility when I tell him I want to split up. We are about 6 months into a 2 year tenancy, I’m toying with the idea of staying quiet until I have some money behind me to get a new place as this is unaffordable for me really and too big for me and my child alone.
I can’t understand how he think this is a good relationship or is happy to continue. He is short and snappy with his own kids and I have seen him start to be like that with my boy, and I do not like it one bit. I have pulled him up on it but I just get the ‘I have had kids before you know and our son will start learning to listen to commands’ he actually said commands - for instance he will say sit up but in a frustrated tone when my son isn’t sitting up on his lap to be fed. He physically can’t he is under 6 months old.
I feel trapped and unhappy and it’s not what I want my son growing up to think is the norm and how you treat people.
Has anyone got any stories of a similar situation and how they managed to get out?