Feel like we're drifting apart... DP working away

[Doyoumindifislytherin]

Background. Been together 2 years, both have children from previous relationships and no plans to have DC together.
We "half' live together as DP works away 4 days in the week and is home 3 days at the weekend. We have a great relationship. He's my best friend and We do everything together as a couple/family and really make the most of the time that we do have together, but I can't help this feeling that we are drifting apart.
His work life is full on, nights out every night with the lads, meals out as staying in hotels so no facilities to cook etc, always having a laugh with his mates where I'm just stuck at home, running the house and looking after my children.
I'm finding it increasingly hard. Feel like I have nothing to talk about in the week when he calls There is only so many conversations I can have about what tv show i'm going to watch or what I'm cooking for tea that night. I feel like im losing myself and I've just became this boring person with nothing to say.
I'm also really starting to resent the status quo as it feels like I'm left with the humdrum of day to day life and the pressures that brings on my own.
How do I fight this feeling of just waiting around for him?
I only get 1 night in the week where I could do something but I'm that exhausted due to working full time myself and parenting and running the house single handedly I usually just head straight to bed for an early night!

I actually think I maybe a little depressed because of the circumstances, but find it hard to discuss this with him as I know it's hard for him too being away from home. I don't want to bring up how I'm feeling over the phone and I don't mention it when we are together as I don't want to ruin the little precious time together that we have.

I don't know what I'm asking for here? Maybe advice from others who have been in a similar situation?

Sounds like he's got a great deal with you. Where is the rest of all his money going? Sounds like he is working 'very hard' so must be earning a fair whack.

Not at all surprised you're unhappy. It all sounds a bit shit on your part.

@bigchris no worries, it's easy to miss. 😁 I'm ok... writing this all down has just made me realise we need to sit down and have a serious conversation about where this is going. Reading everything back I can see he's clearly having his cake and eating it right now...

He's not broke. He earns more than I do, and between us we should have a good income. But because I'm living like I'm financially single I have nothing left each month and he gets to live the life of Riley.

I don't think he even realises how difficult things are for me! We are committed and have plans for the future of a bigger house, and blending our families. But right now there is no steps towards that happening which is making me feel resentful. ( and I can see why he wouldn't make those steps as right now he has it so easy!)

I do think I'm falling into depression because if it all. I don't want to upset the apple cart by dragging everything up with him as the time we do spend together is lovely. And we have lots planned this year as a family in ways of holidays etc. But I need to talk to him about me having some time for myself and him contributing more so this can happen.

Lots to think about and discuss it seems... and no way anything can happen over night either

OP I’ve been married a long time, and my DH now works & lives away Monday- Thursday.
I totally understand your feelings on being at home while he’s away. I was going to advise taking more time for yourself mid week. It is important.
But living like this is hard work, it takes commitment from both sides.
From what you’ve said, you really need to have long conversations with him about this if it’s going to work.

Many people in my particular situation get divorced- I think the rate is higher than in the general population for people doing my husbands job.
If both sides of the relationship are not totally committed, it won’t work IMO.

Of course things can happen overnight. You talk to him, he apologises for taking financial advantage and sets up a direct debt for his share via online banking. Tada. Could be done in an hour, let alone 24! Then he apologises for you having no time for yourself because you've focused on him and his 'exhausted from partying' needs and offers to have the kids the next evening, you ring friends and within 24 hours you have some you time. Tada. All overnight!

The other stuff, divorce, financial settlement, bigger house, etc will obviously take time. But those two cocklodging issues should be instantly solved if he's half the guy you think he is. . If they're not I'm afraid planning a future with this man is not a safe bet.

@Thingsdogetbetter I wish I were that easy lol. We've just had a quick chat in the phone and planned a day out just me and him this weekend. Said I really need to get out the house as I'm going slightly stir crazy! I will bring this up with him after then. I'm confident he will understand how I'm feeling. We donnttt argue and tend to talk things through and he's never disagreed with me when I've mentioned other things that need addressing, he does however have a habit if saying the eight things and then going off to work and forgetting all about what was discussed when he gets back .

The fun stuff with friends is a little harder. They're all wrapped up in their own lives and families trying to organise anything is a mamouth task.

Maybe I should look into an art class or something along those lines. Just sceptical as it screams to me middle aged bored housewife . (Although that's probably what I am ha ha )

Weightlifting is the new art class for us middle aged bored women! 😁