I’m fed up feeling like this

[Tilm20]

I’m just really fed up with a person in my life. I’m feeling really depressed at the moment and I’m not blaming all my problems on this person but she has hugely contributed to my mental health. I don’t want to give too many details as it will make me easily identifiable to people that know me. So I’ll try and explain how I’m feeling without giving too many specifics.

I’ve known her when my youngest was a baby and now our kids in same school. Since they’ve been in same school I realised how much I actually dislike her. I used to see her about 3 or 4 weeks for coffee etc. But since I started to see her everyday at school run she just grates on me. Everything about her annoys me. I feel guilty if I try to avoid her which is making my mental health worse as i do suffer a lot from guilt complex. I’ve never disliked anyone this much and she hasn’t exactly hurt me in any way. She just puts me in a bad place. I can’t put my finger on it why just seeing her face puts me in a negative mood for the rest of the day.

Please don’t message me saying what a horrible person I am etc. I’m not posting this to get abused by strangers. I just need to hear from people who might have also felt this way or can understand why I’m feeling so down about this. Can anyone please help me resolve how I’m feeling in a nice way please, I’m really struggling with this seemingly minor “problem”.

I just know if she hadn’t put her kid in same school I would be feeling very different. Before she put her kid in I was happy with school runs and I was positive always chatting to other people. Please someone give me a positive words to snap me out if this mindset. Thank you.

Personally if you have had background stuff happen with this person, I would take a step back from her and either go Grey rock with her, so be polite but bland with chit chat and shut her down with anything else.
Or completely go No Contact with her and avoid her for the sake of your own mental wellbeing.

Somebody else will be along with better advice! Hopefully!

Very vague “she just puts you in a bad place”.There a lots of reasons to dislike a person but if you can’t identify them the problem might be you.
I know people who others perceive as kind and nice while I know they can be self -centred ,greedy and selfish and I could give examples if people pushed me .I keep these people at arms length but I know the reason why I don’t like them.
If you don’t like them keep your distance ,you are only hurting you both

Why would I call you a horrible person?

In the same way that none of us will ever be liked by every person we meet, we can't expect to like everyone else either. And some people are best in small doses.

Other than feeling guilty, are there specific issues or reasons you can't gradually distance yourself?

You don’t like someone. It’s fine not to like someone. As long as you’re not too faced about it then you are doing nothing wrong. Just avoid her. However, you should probably see a counsellor to discuss your guilt complex because I think it’s making you feel worse about this than it should

*two faced

Can you not just greet her with a ‘good morning’ and maybe a bit of small talk then leave and get on with your day?

To say her face puts you in a bad mood makes me think so you find yourself comparing yourself to her? Are you jealous of her in any which way?

I do think it is a seemingly minor issue from the information you’ve given but if I were you I’d just suck it up and get on with it. You don’t even HAVE to greet her most mornings if you don’t feel like it then.

Sounds to me you like to be in control, just be kind to yourself and the other person

Thanks everyone. No I’m not jealous of her! She always has an issue about something so you can imagine what facial expressions she uses hence my hatred for her face. I think the biggest issue is mine as I have anxiety and low mood and having someone in your life even if you see them for one minute a day is enough to dampen your mood further

Sounds like someone I knew. She was/is super anxious so everytime I saw her she'd be worrying or complaining and it would start to make me feel anxious because I can also be a bit insecure.
Luckily her daughter ended up at another school and I just ghosted her texts after that.
I agree with advice about ignoring/grey stoning to make yourself boring.

I have a mum friend like this. She is so negative to be around, so I just avoid where possible and limit meet ups.