I'm just stuck. Me and dh have no 'normal' relationship and pretty much lead separate lives under the same roof. I want to move on with my life. I'm too young to spend years and years avoiding spending time with him, hoping he's going out on an evening, looking forward to him being away overnight, dreading him coming in..... He knows I'm unhappy, but he seems to think it's ok to carry on this way. He's booked a caravan holiday for us in May, and I know it won't be long before he asks when we should take time off to go and stay with his family over the summer. He doesn't do loads with the kids, but he loves them and they love him. He's said he literally doesn't know how people cope without their family, and that we are everything to him. But it's just not enough for me. I need a life other than being a mother and working and looking after the house. I need someone to adore me and make me feel like a woman, and I know I could have that elsewhere. But I can't get past the feeling of selfishness at wanting that, and the hurt that I would cause dh, and the effect of the whole thing on the dcs. I know this dilemma is as old as time, and deep down I know the answer, but I just want to know how to tell him once and for all, in a kind way, that I can't continue like this. He's away two nights this week. Do I write him a letter? My counsellor suggested this, but I don't know where to start. What do you say???