My partner and I are separating. This is something that we should have done some time ago but we have young children and I truly wanted to this to work.
The tipping point is that my partner has developed a severe alcohol problem which has resulted in a recent drink driving conviction and loss of licence, in hindsight the drinking has escalated in line with both of our unhappiness. He will not seek help for his drinking problem despite the conviction.
Our arguments are also getting worse and worse and have resulted in some awful name calling from both sides. Most of the arguments have started around his alcohol use but escalate to other issues. After we argue, he will often leave the house and be out of contact for hours. I have asked him many times to attend relationship counselling but he refuses. There is no affection left in the relationship and we often do not sleep in the same bedroom.
I know I need to get my children out of this toxic environment. I don't want them growing up unhappy and I also dont want them to think this is how relationships should be. We have tried to shield them from it but you can tell they are picking up on the unhappiness in the home and they will soon be old enough to understand that it is not normal that mum and dad do not sleep in the same room.
The problem is they adore their father and he adores them. Can you please let me know how you supported your children through a separation? They are going to struggle significantly with the separation and I don't know how to make it better for them.