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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is he depressed?

2 replies

Helpme1996 · 03/03/2020 09:34

Hoping you can help me clear the fog that is my head I'll try not to make it long but don't want to drip feed.

Been with partner 2 and a half years we had got engaged and wedding was/is booked. He has had money troubles recently meaning he has been looking for a second job and that he can't fly home to see his family this year. His grandad also recently had a heart attack that hit him very hard. As a result we have been arguing frequently.

We had an argument on Friday, and he has left me saying he thinks our split is inevitable as we can't communicate well (I do but he is terrible). Anyway Saturday night I embarrassed myself and begged for him back as I always do when we argue and he told me I was putting him under too much pressure and he needed space but neither of us have anywhere to go.

Since then he texts me throughout the day just mundane chat, tries to act nice at home but still insists it's over and that he is moving out. I seen him last night looking for flats and just left him to it as I refuse to be the one who begs him to stay. He then came to bed and insisted on getting me food as he knew I hadn't eaten. Then this morning he tried to make conversation with me before he left but I don't want to open a dialogue with him and pretend to be okay when I'm not.

It's really hurting me just how okay he is with all of this. I asked if he had told anyone about our split and he said no and that he won't until he has officially moved out.

I'm so hurt and confused and need an outsider's view on all of this.

OP posts:
Helpme1996 · 03/03/2020 10:37

Bump, I'm struggling

OP posts:
Greta1985 · 03/03/2020 10:48

Sorry but it sounds like his mind is made up. In your position I would be cancelling the wedding and letting him move out, but I’m a proud bitch who thinks ‘fuck it’ if someone doesn’t like me it’s their loss cos I’m great! The only other option is trying to get him to counselling together but that might have to be while he is living apart from you. I know it’s hard. Make a list of all the things you like about yourself.

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