Been with DH 6 years, 2nd marriage for both of us.
We're middle aged, all DCs have left home and all is usually good.
DH has a group of friends from years back as do I since they met life has happened and they now all live in different parts of the country. When they all get together they usually spend a day/overnight together.
From the first time I met him I was sure that DH's best friend also eventually best man at our wedding didn't like me. I made a real effort and wasn't sure what I'd done wrong.
Over time I kept trying but it became clearer that this friend really didn't like me. Subtle things, snide comments, ignoring me, verbally unpleasant, criticising me, insinuating that I only married DH for his money DH earns more than me but my salary is good too and many other instances.
Friend often belittles and undermines his own wife too, I get on well with his wife. I really like Friend's wife and we get on well.
I've been making an effort for DH sake. Friend and one other friends from their group stayed on Friday and Saturday night they were going to a rugby match on the Saturday. Before they stayed me & DH prepared the house, meals, I gave them a lift to the train station and picked them up and other things to make their stay easy.
When they were all together I mostly kept out of their way, at mealtimes and other times we were together Best Man Friend was making piss taking faces at other staying friend when I spoke. He cut me off in conversation a few times, told me a new item of furniture I had chosen was 'crap' was generally rude and undermining. All while DH was distracted so without his knowledge.
At previous times I've told DH about things his friend has said and done but DH has said that the Friend 'has a funny way' 'is odd' 'doesn't think before he speaks sometimes' etc. DH doesn't like the way that friend speaks to his own wife and thinks she will leave when their DCs leave home.
After their visit I told DH what had been happening, he believed me, we talked about it and DH said he was going to rethink the blokes meet ups and do things differently in future and that he has chosen to be with me and that's most important.
Then DH told me about an email he'd received from Friend bemoaning the fact that they couldn't have a lads holiday together, just the two of them they have only once or twice been for a weekend together in all the years they've known each other, also Friend and family don't have much money.
Friend has always been the driving force behind the group meet ups, he organises them and wants them to increase. He had mentioned June. I told DH that I won't stop him seeing his friends but that I would like him to put some distance between himself and Friend.
DH is a natural peacemaker and non confrontational.
AIBU to think that it's not ok to visit someone, take advantage of their hospitality and be incredibly rude and childish?
What would be a reasonable future course of action for me here?