Wanting to be engaged so bad

[Aria2016]

I'm kind of scared to post this but im 26 boyfriend is 29 weve been together for almost 9 years and we have a 3 year old daughter together. He got me a promise ring two years ago and when I was pregnant promised me a ring. He gets annoyed when I talk about it and I can't help but bet jelious of people who are getting married or engaged which is horrible I know. What do I do x

Do you want to be married or do you want a series of romantic moments? If you just want to be married, suggest it to him. 20 minutes at the registry office for about £50 and it's done. It doesn't have to be a huge significant thing that only the man can instigate.

I suspect if your DP wanted to be married, you would be married by now

Or maybe he's just complacent, or lazy, or doesn't want to spend a lot of money. In which case as I said above, a quick ceremony at a registry office would suffice. But she won't know about any of this if she doesn't communicate with him.

Nine years and a three year old later and still no marriage.

You need to decide what to do if he doesn’t want marriage at all. Either accept it or leave.

What is a 'promise ring' ?

Just some shit to keep a girl from moaning. It means nothing. Just like being engaged without a date means nothing.

A lot of people don't do the proposal thing. They just sit on the couch watching telly and talking through it, decide that marriage is a good thing to do, especially when you want children, and set a date.

He doesn't want to marry you, hence his getting annoyed when you bring it up. He's got it all now without being married so he won't change. Engagement is meaningless. Marriage is far from just a piece of paper, it confers important legal rights. You need to be financially independent if you plan to stay with this bloke and procreate yet again with him because otherwise you're quite vulnerable financially.

In answer to your question, what you don't do is enable him by playing the wife, have more kids with him and give them his surname, or compromise your earning to enable him.

I’m old and am amazed that in the 21st century women are still waiting to be proposed to.
If you’re prepared to bring this to a head:
Don’t ask him to marry you, just say you think it’s about time you got married; what dates/months would suit him so that you can both start the planning and booking?

Thanks @KahlanRahl - I've not heard of it.

I agree @HowCanYouSayThat
By having a child together, it is pretty clear you are already committed to one another - just discuss with him about how / when you are going to get married.

Oh dear, you have just a ring, he clearly doesn’t intend to marry you. What do you do? Accept that he doesn’t want to marry you and the ring was just to placate you.

What's a promise ring? Surely an engagement is a promise to marry. If he has given you some meaningless fob-her-off-to-keep-her-quiet ring, then it looks like he's less than keen.
Unfortunately, the engagement ship has sailed. After nine years and a child, by all means marry - but you have rather pre-empted any engagement.

Has this got anything to do with your boyfriend owning the house in his name only?

By having a child together, it is pretty clear you are already committed to one another - just discuss with him about how / when you are going to get married

@BackforGood having a child together doesn't = both parties want to marry. I think they should discuss how / WHETHER / when to marry

He's under no obligation to get married if he doesn't want to. What she does with that information (ie stay together anyway or move on) is up to her