Differing social life expectations

[Rockylove]

DP and I have been together 18months, no kids and don't live together.

Feeling a bit down in the relationship recently as I feel he doesn't have much time for me. He is often busy during the week at football, sports training or out with work mates. Then on a weekend he is out at football or cricket all day Saturday and Sunday mornings he is at sports training too. I do a couple of social activities in the week too but only 1/2 nights a week and am free all weekend. I just feel like I get squeezed into his schedule based around sport/his social events and while I understand the importance of having your own space it gets me down that I am constantly second choice. It would be nice for him to plan sport around me for once instead of the other way round.

He has compromised and doesn't go to some sporting fixtures that he would do usually and away games are not as frequent (still goes to most) but will not miss anything else. He has said he will not miss cricket for holidays and we can't plan any days out or weekends away when football home games or cricket is on. I have tried to talk to him about this but his answer is i'm not giving up my hobbies and you just need to accept how much I do and put up with it. If not you can find another boyfriend. I see him once a week, maybe twice if i'm lucky/I compromise my plans but I feel the less time we spend together the more we will drift apart romantically and just become good friends. Moving in together is not an option right now and we have even stopped staying over at each other's houses due to a bit of a rocky patch.

Is it normal for a partner to do this much social stuff and for me to feel like this? I don't want to appear a control freak or controlling but I love our time together and just wish we could have more of it!!

I think one of the first and foremost facts of dating is that If someone wants to spend time with you, they will find / make time, no matter how ‘busy’ they might be. Not only is he not making the time for you, but he has told you clearly that he has no intention of doing so. You have to decide if that’s good enough for you.
He is entitled to spend his time however he wants and to decide what his priorities are, but it seems you are not one of them. Time to move on I think.

Don’t make someone a priority in your life when you’re only an option in theirs.

This is just like my ex relationship, except swap sports for music. It drove me to the brink, affected my mental health and I was naive enough to think it would change. 7 years i was with him, now I've possibly missed the chance to have a family.
It will be hard to leave. But think if the time you'll waste OP when you could be living a rich life with someone you deserve instead. X

I met a man like this when I was 30 and he was mid 30s. The difference was that he gave up some of his weekend and week day sport when we were a few months in. This was because he was serious about me and wanted marriage and a family. We have just celebrated 33 years together.

Don’t compromise, OP. Go find a man who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him.

Well he's given you the answer.. find a new boyfriend.

I don't understand why people who are so busy get into relationships, do they think you go on a few dates then that's it no more effort required?

Sounds like he wouldn't prioritise his hobbies over any future DC either. You'd get lumbered there whilst he dipped in and out.
Think long term, put your practical head on and finish it now. Every month with him is wasted if you want a family in the future.