Leap year proposal

[50nearly]

Hello lovely ladies hope you can help. I have been with my partner over 6 years. We both aged 50, both divorced with grown up children. I jokingly gave him a leap year proposal card. He looked horrified & said we don't need to be married blah blah. This just made me feel crap. Tempted to have a break from him. Feeling really unwanted please help thank you 😊

I'm really really sorry.
What do you want?
Do you have children?

Have you ever discussed getting married before? Did he have a bad divorce?

Sorry to hear that. How did you expect him to react?

You gave him it as a joke? So you didn't want to get married anyway? Have you never discussed the subject over the 6 years you have been together?

Have grown up children (not children together) just shocked me his reaction. Yes we both had bad divorces.

Have you merged finances? How much does marriage mean to you?

Why did you propose as a joke? Seems risky at best, disingenuous at worst.

If you want to get married, a frank conversation would have been better. Else you run the risk of a reaction like this which upsets you.

What's your financial situation like? Do you live together? Do you share a bank account and savings or keep separate accounts?

He doesn't want to marry you.

Why are you shocked at his reaction?

I would be fuming if my partner gave a a home proposal tbh and I would jump into the defensive which would result in my saying I didn't want to marry.

Weird weird weird thing to do OP.

FAKE proposal

Did he know it was a joke? How would he know?
How would you have reacted if he'd said yes?
Seems like a shit joke tbh.

Well how would you feel if he gave you a silly proposal card on valentines or something and made out like it was a joke?

You just can not joke about those things. What a cruel joke!

What did you expect from that kind of joke? A joke wedding?

I jokingly gave him a leap year proposal card

Why are you mad at him OP?

how cruel to give a joke proposal card.

i’d be so hurt and angry.

who gives a joke proposal at 50 years of age.

Had he said Yes, what would you have done?

A... joke proposal? Seriously? Ffs.

Wait so was the proposal real or were you just taking the piss?

Why would you give him one jokingly? If it was a joke (and a fairly awful one) then surely his response was the correct one? Was he actually upset you said it was a joke and deflecting?

It sounds like you were testing the water with something light-hearted. But that you actually wanted him to respond favourably and start a conversation about getting married. And if he needed you could pretend it was a joke.

Problem is... it's not a joke, is it? If you're gutted at his brush off then it's clear you'd like to be married.

You kinda fucked up here. Be more honest with yourself about what you want. Then talk to him.

*didn't not needed

He is probably gutted that you would make a joke out of it and is tempted to take a break from you too.

Who makes a joke, then complains that the recipient didnt take it seriously?