Coming out as bisexual/gay to husband...

[Lo198]

I’m 30years old and I been with my husband since I was 18.
We have 2 DDs and my husband is brilliant, I can’t really fault him (apart from stuff like leaves pants on the floor!)
For as long as I can remember I’ve never really felt I fitted in and I always put it down to going between my mums house and dads house my whole life.
But it never went away. My husband always joked that I always seem to be looking for the missing piece so I start a new job, move house do anything to fix my ‘missing part’
Then about 2years ago, I met a woman, became very good friends with her but very quickly realised that I really fancied her, when I was around her I wanted to be right next to her. I could tell she fancied me too, she is openly gay.
Since then I withdrew from my husband and felt very confused and thought it was just her and I didn’t like all women...but now I notice women more than men...I’ve discussed this with my husband and he is obviously confused and hurt but supportive. I’m waiting to see a counsellor but I’m just wondering if there is anyone else going/been through something similar.
Could this just be a faze? And I’ll get over it? I’m so confused!

Bump

18 is really young to be with someone and then have kids pretty quickly. It sounds like you didn't get much time to explore your own sexuality relationship boundaries.
But I wouldn't say that this is about being gay or bi. You are interested in someone else.
Think about whether you still want to be with your partner and if not, leave the relationship on that basis.

Apart from a few details, that could have been me writing this post.
I have been through almost exactly the same. I am still recovering from it after 2+ years. But I ended the friendship as it was too much for me to bear. We are now back in very loose touch, and the resentment is very heavy on both sides, I just wish I forgot she ever existed and did not think so much about her.
If this is just a phase, I do not know as I am not completely over it. My therapist told me I wasn’t gay, I don’t feel gay, and it appears that some of my married friends had female crushes too.