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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Online dating advice.

6 replies

Kop1983 · 01/03/2020 16:08

Hi looking for advice from a female perspective.
36 old male , just started online dating . Not having much luck . I love kids but can’t have my own . On my profile I selected not sure having about children . After chatting to a couple of women online both have brought up why I was unsure . I was honest and the messaging stopped there .
I don’t mind if they have kids or not. Should I mention on my profile I can’t have kids but they are not a problem . Seems quite a heavy thing to mention on a profile . Or should I put I want kids (the truth) and leave the rest til later .
Thanks.

OP posts:
nickname302 · 01/03/2020 16:11

should I put I want kids (the truth) and leave the rest til later

I'd do this tbh. Wanting kids can mean you're open to dating someone with kids, or would consider adoption.

Kop1983 · 01/03/2020 16:15

Thanks for the reply , worried this would come across a slightly deceitful, especially when they say they have none and want them .

OP posts:
nickname302 · 01/03/2020 16:16

Is there not the option to just skip that question? Which dating site/app are you using?

Kop1983 · 01/03/2020 16:19

Hi , using match at the moment . Couldn’t seem to find a reset button after I selected not sure . But thanks will have another look.

OP posts:
Bubble5123 · 01/03/2020 16:28

This is a tough one...but I tend to think with OLD it is better to put anything that is likely to put some people off into your profile. That way you can be sure that the people that do message you are people that are genuinely interested in you and are not going to be put off by your situation. It saves wasting your time messaging people who do want children and so are not going to be interested once you explain things.

When I was OLD I would have taken 'not sure' to mean that you might be open to having children.

I wouldn't worry about it being too heavy for a profile - people put all sorts of things in there. I have seen lots of men say that they don't want to have children. Plus, for some women this will actually be a plus point and may make them more likely to message you - women who have completed their families or who don't want kids at all themselves.

Kop1983 · 01/03/2020 16:39

Thanks , think I will go with the honest approach .

OP posts:
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