Three years ago, whilst I was pregnant with DD2, DH started texting a female friend of his very frequently - they were exchanging multiple messages every day for several months. I don't think they were sexual, although I haven't seen them all. DH used to go out with this friend, but many, many years ago, when they were teenagers. I explained that I was not very comfortable with the intensity of their friendship and asked him to put in place some appropriate boundaries. They continued to message each other, and I discovered this as we pulled into the hospital car park on the day I gave birth. I felt really let down that he had put their friendship above what I needed from him at a time when I was really vulnerable. We have since talked about this a few times and he says he understands how out of order it was, promises it won't happen again, etc.
After DD2's 1st birthday, I found a part time job and went back to work, having previously been a SAHM for a couple of years. This job isn't well paid at all but enables me to keep my foot in the career door. DH thinks that for the tiny amount I'm paid (significantly less than the childcare I need to do it well) this job has a disproportionately negative effect on family life - it involves late night working, and can be quite stressful. I feel that it is sensible to keep my hand in; my trust in him and his ability to tell when external relationships are straying into potentially inappropriate territory has been dented. Last night, when he was complaining about my job, I said that to him for the first time. He is really hurt. Was it an unreasonable thing to say/feel, given the circumstances?