Husband really weird over phone

[HGranger]

Am I reading too much into this. My husband is being so weird with his phone. I mean we have a lot of other issues unfortunately, and perhaps I'm just looking for an easy out. However he is weird with it. It seems perpetually glued to his hand, when he puts it down it is always face down. He is is constantly picking it up and checking it. He is being very off hand with me.

Quite a few years ago he was messaging a woman I knew very well he fancied the pants off. I am certain the feeling wasnt reciprocated, but it really bothered me at the time. I was made to feel like a nurse for questioning it at the time. There have been times since that I'm pretty certain he has had crushes on other women. I'm fairly certain it hasnt gone further than that. But this just seems so .... twitchy, obsessive!? And yet he calls me out on how much I use my phone.

If he messages other women, has crushes on other women and is twitchy around his phone.. I think you know he’s up to something.

*idiot not nurse!!!

Have you asked him?

If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck it's a duck. It sounds like he's up to something shady I'm afraid

@ErrrNo I haven't. I have bought these things up in the past and have been basically made out to be crazy. Also we are at a very .... difficult point in our relationship. I do not feel able to without more evidence.

I know it's frowned upon but I had a sense something wasn't right with my dh and his phone. Similar Behaviour. I checked his phone while he slept , I was correct

But if things aren't going right you really don't need an 'excuse' to end the relationship.

Behaviour like that with a phone is always dodgy. I'd be trying to check it.

OP - what’s the point of living like this?
You are saying you are at a difficult point in your relationship - so why obsess about the phone?
You don’t need evidence or reasons to leave if you are unhappy.
Or you can try to focus on the other issues and see if they can be resolved.
I think the phone issue is distracting you and blurring the real issues here

@ErrrNo Same. I found out everything i tgought he was up to was true. And more.

Next time he puts it down, see if you can 'accidentally' spill a sugar-laden cup of hot coffee all over it.

Our spidey senses are usually correct.

"Can I use your phone for a sec"
"Why?"
"Just need to check something"

His reaction will confirm your suspicions.

But if things aren't going right you really don't need an 'excuse' to end the relationship.

This. We seem to wait for evidence or catching someone red handed. You're living your life anxious, suspicious and insecure - no wonder really, all things considered. You need to walk away or your confidence is going to be more and more dented.

@Borneobabe

Exactly right. A classic test .

‘Glued to phone, constantly checking it’ - not weird in itself, lots of us do this!
‘Always puts it down face down’ - maybe someone else will come out with an explanation for this that isn’t about concealing something. I can’t think of one.

Yep , the fact he won’t let his phone out of his grip , constantly checking it , and places it face down when he’s not using it . That for me personally ,is def a huge red flag. He’s worried what’s going to come up on his screen .
Hes def feeling anxious about getting caught out doing something wrong , IMO .
Does he take it into the bathroom with him ?
I’d be really keen to get my hands on it , see what’s what .

Oh! And his password has changed! After having the same password for as long as I've known him.

Welllllll... what do you want us to say? I mean, you know there is an issue. So, what next?

@PersonaNonGarter ... probably what I already knew, which is why I'm already squirreling money away.

And after barely talking for a couple of days he is now remorseful and trying to make up for things.... after I took our daughter out for the day.

I'm not sure why you've stayed with him knowing he has messaged other women and clearly has crushes on other women. He's an affair waiting to happen. Its so obvious he's up to something. You could attempt to get evidence but, if I were you, I would just end things now and not even bother.

@anotherdisaster. I suppose we can all be blind to things we don't want to see. Be assured my eyes are well and truly open. I'm in the process of manoeuvring myselfnjnto a better position.

Well we have all done it! I'm glad you are wise to it now. Definitely get your ducks in a row. You deserve better.