Another one to avoid?

[Mermaidwaves]

So I after meeting some disastrous men online and in real life I've been chatting to a guy for nearly two weeks from OK cupid. At first he seemed nice, very chatty sending lots of informative messages and seemed open about his life and past. We are meeting this Tuesday.

Here comes the issue. We've been talking two weeks now and he's obviously feeling comfortable now. I prefer to meet much sooner but due to work stuff it's ended up being two weeks. Here my issues;

1. He has started calling his ex and her mother bitches etc. I always think men who talk like this are going to be a problem. I also don't know why guys need to overshare about their exes too soon.
2. Hes telling me about the problems in his day, and how he's told this person to * off or they're a *. Again, warning sign?
3. He doesn't seem to have any friends or a social life. Is this a sign that he's not a nice person to be around?

My radar seems totally screwed regarding men, writing it down I don't think I want to meet him now but would these change your mind?

Massively so

Ugh

Yes it would change my mind. Trust your instincts. If something is telling you it's not right go with your gut

Good god he sounds like a nasty piece of work!

Yes, I would say from your OP that a person with a good radar would have sent this guy packing long ago - probably from the first calling a woman a 'bitch' moment.

Maybe think about doing the Freedom Programme before continuing with OLD?

I think your instincts are right. Not good sign to speak about women like that ever, let alone in initial pre-meeting chat! He obviously sees no problems with that kind of language toward women. The telling people to fuck off etc and then reporting it back to you is a 100% red flag plus the lack of friends is a terrible sign.

Move on from this one OP.

Two weeks is very early to be ranting about his mum and his ex. It makes him sound like an angry misogynist who wants to blame everyone but himself. Even if that's not the case, he should have the self awareness to know that this kind of talk comes across badly. Bin him off before you become the next "bitch" he blames all his problems on. :)

Don’t meet him. He should be on best behaviour at this stage! He’s making you uncomfortable before you have even met, why bother? He thinks this is ok behaviour.

It's so frustrating! I like that he's open and messages frequently, I can be a bit needy . Bit I guess his personality is showing now isn't it?

Alarm bells. Tell him where to go.

My thoughts - he’s an inherently nasty piece of work, and the seemingly ‘nice’ guy you’ve been talking to so far is just a charming facade that he’s put on.

Genuinely nice guys don’t have a lack of friends, aggressive rows at work and refer to exes and their family members as bitches. He’s just made the mistake of letting the act drop before reeling you in.

It does seem that a lot of men online are dysfunctional. I know there will be some who are genuine, but it's so disheartening when the red flags appear.

I refer to my ex husband as bastard (he really was; very abusive and a gambling addict who constantly stole from me).
I also don't have many friends or a very active social life due to having social anxiety.
I still consider myself a nice person and am in a wonderful, loving relationship with husband no.2
Do by all means trust your instincts like PPs have said. But just be aware that he might have genuine reasons for being the way he is (of course it's your choice whether or not you accept who he is).
Good luck x

Run away!!

bellend klaxon

bookworm83 that's an interesting view, I guess there are some circumstances which are an exception. I have a horrible ex but I make sure I don't talk about him to new dates as I'm aware it sounds negative and like I'm bringing issues to a new relationship? I don't know if other people would see it that way though. Hes starting to sound negative and a bit of a moaner and I'm already dreading his name pop up on a message so I think I will cancel our upcoming date. I hate online dating!

If you're dreading his messages it's already a goner OP.
Keep on going with OLD. Along with a good dose of common sense, it's a numbers game! Good luck

Huge red flags. Don’t meet him.

Oh good grief you haven't even met him and he's calling the 2 women in his life bitches ....

I think you know what to do!!!