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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do I stop timewasters?

3 replies

Claire926 · 01/03/2020 10:24

I have always preferred to meet men in real life. I have tried online dating and whilst I know there have been successes for people the people I went on dates with had lied on their profiles and were quite dysfunctional so it's not for me.

When I meet men it's through my hobbies at meetup groups. Whilst I go for the hobby I don't go intentionally to meet men and see that as a bonus. Some of these men I get on well with and we flirt and this can go on for months but nothing ever seems to come of it. I know the men can come across as 'socially awkward' which is why some of the people are at meetup groups. I keep making excuses for these men saying they are 'intimidated by me', 'shy' etc. The reality is if they really wanted to date me they would not use dating sites in between seeing me.

How do I shut down these men earlier on? I don't want to be wasting my time for a guy to flirt with whilst he gets his ego stroked after he gets no attention elsewhere. My friends tell me don't put all of your eggs in ones basket saying that men certainly don't.

I would love to meet a normal bloke but people say meeting down the pub is frowned upon yet the men at the pub seem a lot more decent than the ones I am meeting.

OP posts:
Dazedandconfused10 · 01/03/2020 10:27

Meeting someone at a pub is not frowned upon. That is the most absurd thing I have read today

gamerchick · 01/03/2020 10:33

would love to meet a normal bloke but people say meeting down the pub is frowned upon yet the men at the pub seem a lot more decent than the ones I am meeting

You what? Since when? Hmm
There aren't special dating and breeding fields out there, people go all over the shop.

12345kbm · 01/03/2020 11:52
Grin

I think it's perfectly fine to meet men in a pub OP. I think the way of ridding yourself of time wasters may be to be a little more assertive earlier on. Suggest meeting up for a coffee or drink after the meet up or hobby and see how it goes from there.

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