Hi basically I’m 30 and my partner is 36 we have 1 child together who is 4 and she has 3 older children which I get on great with and treat as my own we have been together for 6 years and generally get on well.
We don’t argue or anything like that much only a few over the entire relationship but about a month ago we had a argument because neither of us was paying enough attention to our relationship and each other thing like not involving each other in anything not listening to each other and spending time with each other we both agreed we was both guilty of it I spent 2 nights at my brothers to give some space to cool down and see how we felt she initially wanted me to leave for good and to be honest after thinking about it over the 2 nights I thought myself it was probably the right thing to do so she told me to collect my stuff when I was we argued some more then both broke down and said it would be stupid to break up without even trying to put things right
So I stayed and since then there has been improvement but mainly on her behalf as I’m struggling to feel connected with her over the 2 nights I had time to think about our relationship and I realised that the things that was bugging me in the build up to the argument have always been there things such as changing subject and talking over me when I’m talking and not listening to what I have to say or my opinions even being in charge of the money when I’m the only one who brings it in and pays the bills if she wants something she gets it but if it’s the other way I don’t get goes for most things in the relationship from when we very rarely go out it’s what and where she wants same with sex only when she wants we don’t really spend much time together either as I work all day and we go sleep and get up at different times even on weekends I’ll go shopping and she will stay home then go sleep before me at night to be fair I’m very laidback as in I don’t ask for much the simple things are the best such as just being in a loving home with my family I do my share of the chores at home and work hard to provide for my family and don’t complain about anything.
But the more I think about it the more disconnected I feel from her I don’t feel like I’m in love with her anymore she’s a great woman and mum and I care a great deal for her but not as I should and I feel guilty as hell for it as I loved her more than I thought I could ever love anyone I’d have done anything to make her happy and so on but I just don’t feel it anymore and feel awful for it
I don’t know what to do as I struggle talking with her about things like this as it would be used against me all the time that I don’t love her anyway even when I’ve been trying to reconnect with her it breaks my heart knowing I don’t feel the same about her I want to but just can’t and the thought of leaving the kids hurts so much not that she can’t look after them she’s an amazing mum as I said earlier I can’t live without them but don’t feel I can live with my partner anymore I can’t do nothing about it as she deserves better than not being loved as she should but I just can’t give her that love she shows me it’s not fair I want to but I just can’t
Sorry for the rant I just want to see what other people’s opinions are and any advice on what to do going forward
Thank you for your time
Dan