Ex called me 'lazy slob', feel like going NC.

[Boredbumhead]

So basically I got away from my ex 2 years ago after he basically bullied me out of the family home.

He still lives there. I had to work over half term so he had the kids. I live 70 miles away so despite feeling really tired after a.week of hard work and raging PMS, I drove the 2.1/2 hrs to collect them, staying overnight at our old home, where there is still a load of my stuff. I tried to keep low key as was feeling shite, so was sitting on sofa watching the voice on my phone and eating a sandwich. He flipped and started calling me a quote 'lazy slob'. I stormed out into another room to carry on watching my phone. He then turned the internet off, so I couldn't watch anymore. I gave up and went to bed, sobbing.

I forgot how bad he could be. But I'm not surprised. Where do I go from here though? I will need to organise child care with him, and at present he pays nothing in maintenance toward the children.

I don't really want to talk to him anymore.

Could you go through child maintenance? My ex's ex partner has nil contact with him and does it this way. He sounds abusive, you should be able to formalize everything via a solicitor ie regular access etc. It's not nice (I do things informally) but he has pushed you into that decision. Thank God you left him and don't have to deal with that on a day to day basis.

Thanks. Yes. I may have to go formal. I still.dont know what to do about the family house. I dream about going back there, bit don't know if it is going to happen now. I don't know how I would pack up all my stuff and I dont have space for it in the new smaller house. I basically fled and had to start again with furniture (thank goodness for IKEA and b and m bargains!)

Go low contact. NC is pretty difficult.

No staying overnight. No phone calls everything by email or text. No emotional responses from you ever. Don’t react to him.

Trust me it gets better.

There’s quite a space in between sleeping in the same house as your ex and going completely NC.

I agree that you could just go formal.

Agree with @Coolcucumber2020, low contact might be a good option. My solicitor said to ensure any correspondence related to the children only.

Will try low contact but it doesn't take long until he insults.me.and my self esteem can't take it anymore

If that's the case, go no contact after that. You can't control him Op. Sometimes people need a shock to make them change their behaviour.

Were you married? Is the house in both of your names?

I would get a formal arrangement for maintenance and also see where you stand legally with the house and any equity in it.

@Boredbumhead mine neither but I found that NC- well at some point there are arrangements about the child to be had.

Sorting out arrangements months in advance and very boundaried handovers really help.