My boyfriend (of two years) and I are both 37. We live together with my two children.
I’m really curious what others opinions and reactions would be...
His work mates (all men) and him planned a night out a couple of weeks ago. I told him I’d make plans to go out with my friend too as my kids were with their dad.
The day he was due to go out, he made the effort to go get his hair cut (he doesn’t bother that often), bought new aftershave, new shoes and a new shirt. When we got home, he got in the shower, cut his finger nails and dressed (including new boxer shorts). He really went all out on looking good.
I dropped him to the pub (to meet his mates for an early session) and went home to start getting myself ready. I didn’t hear anything from him for the rest of the evening or night despite me sending him a message asking if he was having a good night and if he wanted to share a taxi home. I was walking past a bar on the way home and happened to see him through the window. When I walked in (he didn’t see me) he was flirting with a woman, smiling at her, following her as she walked towards the toilets. I followed him and asked him what he was doing. He immediately denied doing anything wrong and asked why I was out. I told him I had told him I was going out and he said that I hadn’t told him and that I was being sneaky. He then kept smiling at the woman in front of me (he was drunk). We had a massive argument with him telling me I was overreacting. The next day, he said he couldn’t remember any of it. I took that as the truth and we’ve carried on.
A couple of days ago, I received a message from him saying he had finished work early and that he was going to see a friend for an hour (not unusual). What was unusual was the fact that he’d showered and changed. I tried phoning him to ask if he wanted dinner but he didn’t answer, I sent him a message, it went unread. Three hours later, he called and said he was going to the shop and would be home. Four hours after that, he came home (drunk) and said he hadn’t received my message or seen my call.
Yesterday, I was telling him about my friends boyfriend who had cheated on her because she had lost her second drive (due to being on anti depressants). He told me that everyone needs sex and that she should have just done it to keep him happy and that he’d cheat on me if I stopped giving him sex. I got really upset and he said he was only messing around and that he loves me too much to cheat on me.
Then today, he was on his phone and he left it open on his photo album, I saw a picture of a female bum in a thong (it wasn’t mine). When I asked him what it was, he said it had come off WhatsApp from the work group and that it was just lads stuff. I said I understood lads banter but I can’t understand why he wouldn’t delete photos like that and would choose to keep them along side photos of me (I send him naughty photos). He said it was a bloke thing and that it’s only photos of models and that it wasn’t like he was going to ever see the woman in person. I got really upset again and he said I was being silly. He’s since apologised and is telling me that he loves and he’d never hurt me.
Sorry for the massive post but I feel so hurt