Hello long time lurker, first time poster, this will be a long post so please bare with me. I’m grateful in advance for all your advice.
My friend and his wife have been together 14 years both 37, 2 DC 12 and 7. Their relationship has always been what seemed to the outside world (myself included his best man) has a successful, stable and ultimately happy relationship. Until quite recently the past 18 months or so, he’s confided in me the inner details of their turbulent troubles. About 5 years ago now his partner went through what seemed a depressive state in their relationship were she wasn’t happy with his contribution to the home domestically (washing, cleaning up etc..My friend subsequently took her POV into account and made changes accordingly to try and address the issues she was having. However the problems from her perspective kept altering and changing and my friend told me she would often say she wasn’t happy and that he repulsed her in a physical and attractive nature, this kind of behaviour continued for about 2 years with my friends partner constantly finding fault in everything he endeavoured to achieve within their relationship I.E holiday destinations, choice of household furniture items, even down to the food he bought. They were always equal in terms of discussion and agreement in these types of domestic choices. After 2 years of this his own mental state started to deteriorate and excessive drinking became a factor, he would often ask me to come out with him for a drink at the weekend which for the first couple of months was fine but became too much of a regular occurrence to the point that potentially my own relationship could of suffered. About 2 and a half years ago he stupidly had an affair with a lady from work (unbeknown to me I would not of condoned it) it lasted about 4 months, quite expectedly all holy hell broke loose and he ended up moving back in with his parents when his wife found out, to cut a longer story short they eventually reconciled their differences and agreed to try again, their relationship as suffered because of his infidelity and after 2 more years of trying to make it work his wife has repeatedly told him she isn’t in love with him anymore they agreed that he should move out and they would co-parent their two children amicable, this was prior to Christmas since then my friend as just took out a lease on a rented apartment not too far away from the family home, however since this his wife as now reneged on the statement she doesn’t love him and does love him really and wants him to stay he is so confused what should he do!