Packing and struggling to leave

[sirmione16]

I think I just need for reaffirmation right now. Backstory: 6 years together, found out he was cheating 5 weeks before wedding date (had a 4 month old baby, too. Started it when the baby was 8 weeks old ffs) . I cancelled the wedding, 2 years in the planning, lost a tonne of money. However I tried to make it work and get Xmas over with but I don't love him any more, I just don't see him as the same person. So I'm leaving. I think I've got so wrapped up in the organising of everything and the practicalities it hasn't really hit me just how big this change will be. And I get my keys Wednesday, and the last thing to do is pack clothes and belongings so I've started (I have a lot of clothes... And shoes...) and sorting such personal items removing them from where they should've been for years is hurting. I've had to stop and now I'm sat on my bed in tears typing this but I feel stupid because this is a good thing, and I need to do it to be happy. But it's hit me like a brick.. And now I'm doing the whole doubting it all because its scary how big this is. How could he bloody ruin everything like this. Ugh.

Sending love

Oh love how painful, its natural you greiving what should have been. All the disapointment around the plans and promises.
Have a bloody good cry, you totally deserve to feel sadness and taking the last of your things mskes it final.
But you got this! You deserve so much more and in time you will have even better.
Only take what you need, use this as a fresh start, its only stuff, you can replace it.
When I left, I took bare minimum and bought stuff ( dint get me wrong from ebay and charity shops!,) but nothing that gave me memories. It was very liberating.
Sending thoughts and strength your way. In a few months you will be in a very different place

Aww bless you!! I have no doubt this is an awful time for you right now, packing everything up is most definitely making it all very real. BUT remember why you are packing up and moving on, you deserve so much better than this. In a year from now I have every confidence your life will be so much better than it is right now. Have a cry, eat some cake and maybe a glass of wine. Tomorrow will be a stronger brighter day xx

These will be the hardest steps, but they are your first steps to freedom from someone who categorically does not deserve you.

Just keep moving

Just because it's the right thing for your life doesn't mean you can't grieve what you've lost - all those dreams you had for the future as much as the present.

I'm really sorry you're going through this but I hope you can take strength from knowing you are doing what you need to do to have a better life. It won't always hurt like this. Each time you wobble focus on why you're doing this and the happy life you will build.

Sending hugs if you want them.

I remember you, Sirmione. It is entirely understandable that you are grieving the actual end.

You are absolutely doing the best thing for you and the baby. I too would have lost my feelings. He chose to betray you by planning to cheat during your hen-do. He was busy texting OW while you were taking photos of your wedding rings on the baby’s toes. He broke your bond.

This moment is gut wrenching, but I know you will go from strength to strength.

Thank you for the replies. You're all right I need to feel it and get through it but I'm such a pragmatic person I don't tend to allow that.

@msdoglady yep that's me. I think hearing someone else say what he did knocks me back to reality a little rather than being focusing on the sadness of it. His actions were completely unforgivable, and I can't see still how he could sit there and watch me so excited about the wedding and raising our baby and not say anything! As for the hen do weekend.... I've actually chucked my playsuit I wore in the donation bag whilst I'm sorting things. That felt weird but freeing.

I wish I’d of left when I had the chance OP do what will be best for your own happiness