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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Don't think he is the father

39 replies

NCHeIsntTheDad · 29/02/2020 17:39

NC for this. Please be gentle with me!

My brother is engaged to my best friend. We're all very close to each other. They've been together a few years and live together. Really happy for them both and make a great couple.

My friend has told me that she's pregnant. Definitely pregnant, not a maybe. Normally I would be really happy. But I very much doubt that my brother is the father because I know he is infertile as this is why his previous marriage broke up.

I honestly don't know what to say to who and when. So I understand there could be some miraculous chance he is actually the father, but that is very very unlikely. I also assumed my brother had told my friend he was infertile, but it seems like he hasn't. And it's entirely possible he has and they have some arrangement I don't know about.

I could say nothing and see what unfolds but I feel like I'm now part of it.

OP posts:

Redannie118 · 29/02/2020 19:38

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns, and so we've agreed to take this down now.

Kikkoman · 29/02/2020 19:44

Also I got pregnant twice with dh after being told I was infertile

DrinkSangriaInThePark · 01/03/2020 00:21

Will your brother not cop it as quickly as you if there's an issue?

Josuk · 01/03/2020 00:38

If she is your best friend - why not ask? Or why not ask your brother?
Far better than assume your friend is cheating 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Qwerty543 · 01/03/2020 00:39

He'll soon know.

SevenTwentyFive · 01/03/2020 00:41

My ex husband was infertile. He and his previous wife had been trying for over five years for a baby.

So we didn't bother with contraception. Eighteen months later I was pregnant!

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 01/03/2020 00:43

Another one who’s known previously infertile couples suddenly fall pregnant. It happens. Unless he literally has no testicles it’s hardly ever 100%.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 01/03/2020 00:44

At this stage you can only assume that it's his and wait and see what unfolds.

BumbleBeee69 · 01/03/2020 00:53

OP does your brother know yet ?

Dontletitbeyou · 01/03/2020 01:36

This really is between them . Better off letting them deal with it all , you are not ‘a part of ‘ anything .

SleepingStandingUp · 01/03/2020 01:40

Well it'll all come out in tbe wash op.

He's not infertile, or they used a donor or there will be an acrimonious split
Either way, do not accuse your mate of cheating on your brother

AnotherMurkyDay · 01/03/2020 01:57

Or she cheated on him but he has accepted what happened and decided to be the babies father and they have decided to keep it to themselves? All kinds of possible scenarios, likely and unlikely ones.

Does she have form for cheating? Or would that be very out of character?

PointlessAddict · 01/03/2020 02:00

Stay out of it. Presumably he already knows? It’s unlikely she’d have told you and not him. It’s also quite unlikely he wouldn’t have disclosed his fertility issues to someone he was engaged to.

BumbleBeee69 · 01/03/2020 02:03

He might see it as a blessing in disguise... 🌺

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