I’m fairly new here but wanted to share my story to give other hope that feel there’s no way out.
My EXH was horrible, mentally abusive, I was never allowed to do anything. I was so unhappy and stuck. before meeting him I did have a decent job but when we had children I became a SAHM. then i got a job and started making plans to leave once the kids were at school, (i felt deceitful by not telling him but also liberated as was gaining control of my own life again) He wanted the extra money So he could drink more so was happy for a month or so, but once I started gaining confidence and friends after years of not being allowed to do anything he cornered me one day and threatened me unless I left my job, that was the last straw and I packed my bags, kids and animals and left that weekend to go to my parents. I spent 18months, working, saving and letting my hair down (with my parents help with kids) and purchased my own house (something he said I couldn’t do without him). My EXH now hates me because of it but only makes things better knowing the best revenge is to get on with my life. The only problem is that we weren’t divorced and I had to give him some of what I had made in that period as he didn’t save anything (took lots of women out on fancy dates and weekends away)
Still I’m so much better off without him.
Not everyone has the support of parents like I did and I know I was very lucky. There are other options available and I would of rented somewhere as cheap as possible for 3 years to achieve the same goal. I got help with tax credits and saved every penny I could. I purchased a run down property with a mortgage and took a loan to renovate it.
The way I looked at it, if I was strong enough to of done 10 years of abuse then I was strong enough for anything.
I hope my success story inspires others