Am I too late?

[JackiesCurls]

I'm 27 and I've never dated never mind anything else. I didn't mind for a long time but all of a sudden I really do. I just want to know what it's like to be in a relationship.

I don't know where to start. I'm not a hermit. I work full time in a professional job and I have hobbies. I always have had friends and I go out and socialise. My work friends know that I've never dated in the time I've known them, but I don't think they know how bad it really is.

I downloaded Bumble last weekend because one of my friends said it was better than Tinder but then I freaked out. It all seemed too much.

I'm so embarrassed by myself. Even holding hands with someone seems such a huge step. One day I want to be a mum but I feel like I'll never get anywhere near that now.

What can I do? Where do I start?

Absolutely definitely not too late! I can imagine how daunting it feels right now, but honestly you will be totally fine, you are so young. Have your friends got any nice single friends you could meet in an informal way? Or a group? That way you at least know something about them.

No its definitely not too late

I've met different men through friends at parties but they all seem so experienced and intimidating.

In some ways my friends don't help because they date so easily and they do sleep with whoever they want to and I can barely muster up the courage to kiss anyone. I feel like such a weirdo.

I have a friend like this and we are turning 30 this year. She's just started getting into bumble and has had some really lovely dates. I would say definitely not too late - just give it a try without putting any pressure on yourself. It will only get easier once you've been on a few dates.

I never have put pressure on my myself but now I've fallen down this horrible worryhole and I'm not sure how to get out.

Thank you

What are you so worried about?

Has something happened to make you feel so daunted?

There really is nothing to be frightened of, trust me. It's just like any other relationship, so if you have successful friendships then you're capable of a successful romantic relationship

The way things are at the moment, a man would probably be quite pleasantly surprised to find someone like you.

Relax. Remember people have done this since the beginning of time. Make sure you're clear about what you want with any potential men and just enjoy it. You're 27 and single - you're in a good place!

If you have watched any of the First Dates series on Channel 4, you will see that almost everyone is nervous on a first date, no matter how experienced. Being experienced can make you jaded so is not necessarily a good thing. See dates as auditioning for the role of your ideal partner. Are they interesting? Funny? Warm? Do they make you feel good when you are in their company? Are they considerate? Do you share interests? Are they likely to care about the things that are important to you? Are you excited about the possibility of seeing them again? If not, they haven't won your heart. They weren't right for the role. But you might have enjoyed a new experience or made a friend - who has other friends. Or maybe you'll give them a second chance if you think there's potential. If not - Next!

33 and I’ve been with someone since start Jan. It’s my first “proper” relationship. I’ve gone on dates before but didn’t want to settle for someone and I also had some fear.

I’ve had a lot of therapy and that has helped with my confidence and security in myself. That made a big difference. Also, currently dating someone who started off as a friend, so no “getting to know you” or anything. It was more straightforward because we knew enough about each other.

Are you part of a large enough friendship group that people invite you to meet their friends etc too?

I'm glad things are going well for you caulkheaded.

Are you part of a large enough friendship group that people invite you to meet their friends etc too?

Yes, between school friends, uni friends and work friends I do meet some men, although the ones I've liked have all been in relationships. The obviously single ones have all seemed to look for a hook up and I couldn't do that.

Nothing has ever happened to me... that's the problem! Now it seems so insurmountable. I'm very self conscious and proud and that's admittedly not helping.

Male it clear on your profile that you're looking for a relationship, not a ONS (one night stand).

Learn about red flags so you can sift through the men that aren't right for you (or sometimes, anyone).

Get yourself out there on as many dates as possible! You need to get over that first hurdle: the worry.

Try not to view it as a date, view it as if you're meeting a friend. I find that helps take the edge off it.

Always tell someone who you're meeting and where etc, and always meet them somewhere busy.