Has he been unfaithful?

[HPVhow]

I recently had some medical tests as I have been having some gynaecological issues- I am 58 and having abnormal bleeding.
They carried out a smear test at the same time and the result has come back as HPV positive. Googling has brought up some concerns. Can anyone help me please-I am in shock at the moment. Background is I was a virgin when I met DH. He wasn’t. Smear tests have been normal until now. I have doubted his faithfulness in the past. Researching online leads me to believe he has been unfaithful. Although there is research now to suggest you can be a virgin and still have genital HPV, it is implied that it is through foreplay or such.
Before I confront my DH I need to be sure of the facts. Can anyone help me please.? Please be gentle as not only do I have to deal with this but also the risk of cervical cancer too.

It's a shock for you, I was feeling myself is suck a.lame excuse.

If you are going to divorce, spend this time getting all financial stuff together.

Can he move to a.spare room or the couch?

Feel I’ve been punched in the stomach. Going through so many emotions

Sending you . I know what it feels like. Focus on taking care of yourself. There is no need to do anything or make decisions right now.

But the suggestion to start collecting and copying all financial documentation is a good one. Just in case. And before he has a chance to hide or spend it.

You might also look at the Chumplady and Wikivorce websites. Knowledge is power!

And try not to think of the years with him as 30 wasted years. Focus on what you think you might want to do to make the next 30 your best years yet. You can do this - like many women in your situation before you.

Oh I'm so sorry you're going through this OP. But at least now you know the truth - I must admit I was sceptical that you could have had HPV for 30+ years; it's not all that common. What an absolute dirtbag to not use protection and put you at risk.

Try not to worry about the health implications. Now that it has been picked up you will be monitored. Cervical cancer takes years to develop and the treatment for abnormal cells - should you ever need it - is not altogether pleasant but not that bad (and I'm a total baby when it comes to medical procedures!). Mine was almost 30 years ago and there's been no recurrence.

It will be OK x

Thank you. Our finances are separate. I’m trying to keep things amicable as we have property bought with my savings and inheritance. He has his inheritance in his country of origin. I’m hoping he will sign mine over to me completely and he can keep his. I just want this to be over as it’s killing me to be civil. I want to scream and punch him. I want to go out and cry on my friends’ shoulders. He’s laughing on the phone with his friends. Think he’s happy it’s come to this. I’ve done nothing wrong yet I now have a life sentence hanging over me.

I’m trying to keep things amicable as we have property bought with my savings and inheritance. He has his inheritance in his country of origin. I’m hoping he will sign mine over to me completely and he can keep his

First off: trying to keep things amicable during the divorce process rarely works, especially when it comes to assets. Do you have proof of your savings and inheritance being used to buy joint property? How long ago was this? Do you have evidence of his foreign inheritance?

Also, the fact you've kept your finances is irrelevant when it comes to divorce. Most usually, courts will aim for a 50:50 split. Sometimes the spouse who made career sacrifices to bring up children is awarded more than 50%.

I urge you to collect and copy ALL financial documentation, including any pensions (the latter can be VERY valuable!), and consult with a competent family solicitor.

Have a look at Wikivorce and Divorce for Dummies to start with. Don't allow him to take you to the cleaners.

... Kept your finances separate...

Also: you do not have a life sentence hanging over You. This is the beginning of the rest of your life. You WILL thrive