Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What am I doing?

5 replies

whattodo202000 · 27/02/2020 18:15

I was not sure whether this belongs in relationships or pregnancy and hope I have made the correct choice.

I have been married to DH for 2 years (was with him several years until we got married) and am 8 months pregnant. Lately I just feel so overwhelmed by everything and feel like leaving him. I have sat myself down and just feel that he puts all his stress onto me which in turn makes me feel overwhelmed, which then makes me feel that I would be better off without him and his stress.

We both have stressful jobs and are both going through difficult patches at work. Although we are both reasonably mid/high earners we have had so many outgoings in the last few months that we have very little in savings. I had a moment today when I looked at him and thought I would be better off without him because at least I only have the stress of my job to deal with and not his too!

I am posting here to get some perspective, I am wondering if it is pregnancy hormones that is making me feel like this. We had a chat last week about my maternity leave and came to the conclusion that I need to be back at work within 3 months as financially we cannot afford me not to at this stage.

I must add that he does more than his fair share of housework, is very loving and kind, etc. I have no reason to leave him at all, I suppose I just feel so stressed at the moment I really just want a break from it.

OP posts:
lexiepuppy · 28/02/2020 01:49

Do you love him?
It could be the pregnancy hormones making you feel overwhelmed, separating/divorcing is not an easy option, but you must do what is right for you and makes you happy.

You might want to sit DH down again and get everything off your chest.

Flowers
Socalm · 28/02/2020 01:55

Now is not the time to separate! Just get yourself some time off and tell him - insist - that you need calm.

category12 · 28/02/2020 06:21

Tell him that you need his emotional support right now, and that you're struggling. It should be a two way street, not just him offloading to you.

Perhaps suggest he does something physical to release the stress?

longtimecomin · 28/02/2020 07:02

There doesn't seem to be enough reasons to split here. Maybe you need to explain the negative effect his stress is having on you and he should get a counsellor to dump his emotions on?

Fiberoptic · 28/02/2020 07:11

It could be a mix of pregnancy hormones and him off loading on you too much.

Tell him you understand he is stressed but him off loading on you too much is stressing you out too much and he needs to support you for a while now.

I’ve been with dh ten years and two kids in. Whilst I love him dearly and don’t see my life with out him there have been points where I’ve looked at him and could either punch him in the face (which I would never do!) or tell him to pack his bags. This is usually when he hasn’t cleaned the kitchen up after he has fucked it up Grin

New posts on this thread. Refresh page